I'm sure we don't mean to, but sometimes it seems like it is so easy to take our eyes off of God and begin to focus on what is happening around us.
I've recently been reading a little bit about the children of Israel when Moses led them out of Egypt and into the desert in (beginning in Exodus 14). They left Egypt knowing that God had miraculously changed Pharoah's heart, but the moment they saw the Egyptians chasing after them, they forgot what God had just done and cried out in panic. After their miraculous crossing of the Red Sea on dry ground (and seeing the Egyptian army destroyed when the waters came crashing back down on them), they grew thirsty and hungry. Forgetting the power and might that God had just demonstrated at the Red Sea, they again began to grumble and complain. So God miraculously provided water, mannah and quail. It didn't take long before they were whining about something else.
Sometimes when I read this passage in the Bible, I really just shake my head and think, "What was wrong with those people? Couldn't they even trust God for a few days...especially after seeing the miracles He performed on a regular basis in their presence?"
Then this morning, I was in Leviticus 19 reading through the list of commands that God had given the people - both for day-to-day living and for spiritual living. I began to notice that often God says, "I am the LORD your God" or "I am LORD" and I began to wonder why God was repeating himself so often with these words. Then, I realized that it was most likely because the Israelites so easily and quickly forgot who God was.
Sometimes I like to imagine what it could have been like way back then to see the presence of God so clearly - the Israelites had the pillar of fire and the cloud that traveled with them showing them where to go. (Sometimes I wish God was that clear in directing my steps!) It's easy to imagine that we surely would have been able to stay connected and focused on God if we lived back then. But I wonder if that truly is the case.
The same God who led the Israelites back then IS the same God we follow and worship today. As Christians, we don't have to look to a pillar of fire or cloud to be reminded of God's presence. In this day and age, we have the presence of the Holy Spirit dwelling within us. We have something so much better than the Israelites had.
So then why do we still struggle to follow God as we should? Because we are still human -- we are still plagued with the sin nature we were born with. As believers, we have the power of the Holy Spirit within us to overcome sin, but we are still a work in progress...our selfish, human side still can demand its own way over the better way God planned for us. The Holy Spirit in us makes it easier to hear God's voice, to recognize his hand on our lives, but until we get to heaven and this fleshly body is replaced by a glorified one, the struggle will remain.
So, it is a constant reminder that he is the LORD our God...he is the LORD. In everything we do, he is the LORD. Whether it is fixing breakfast and shuttling kids off to school, or going to work and dealing with difficult co-workers, he is the LORD. Whether we are dealing with stress or it seems like the pieces of the puzzle are falling together wonderfully, he is the LORD. Whether we are feeling like we are on a spiritual high or struggling to see God in the situation, he is the LORD. In every circumstance of our lives, he is the LORD. Let's not forget. We can't forget. We must remember that he is the LORD our God...the one who provides, protects, restores and renews.
He is the same God who provided the Israelites with mannah. He will also provide for us.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Less Than Ten
A couple of days ago, I wrote about Noah and how he was able to stand alone for God when the rest of the world (literally) was going against God. This morning I read about Lot and his experience with the angels and the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. The contrast between Noah and his fear of God and Lot and his fear of men is striking.
Where Noah was alone in his faith in God, Lot had his Uncle Abraham praying for him. In Genesis 18, we read where Abraham bargained with God to save Lot and his family, asking that God spare the city if only ten "innocent" people could be found in Sodom. Of course, there weren't ten innocent people in Sodom. There was only Lot, his wife and his two daughters - and just how "innocent" were they? Lot had gained a significant position of authority within the city. We know this because he was there sitting at the entrance of the city, a place of honor, when the angels arrived (see Genesis 19). He knew the kind of people who lived in that city...he was aware of the many forms of perversion that took place there. He also knew enough about God to be able to recognize God's angels when they arrived. But he didn't know God well enough to trust that God's power could protect the angels. Instead he was willing to risk the lives of his own two virgin daughters - who were engaged to marry men who also happened to be outside of the house wanting to get at the angels. And just where was Lot's wife? She was probably just wishing that the angels would go away and not disrupt the lifestyle of privilege they were enjoying living in that city.
Abraham bargained to God for ten innocent people...they just weren't there, so God destroyed Sodom, Gomorrah and most of the surrounding valley. Lot and his daughters were the only ones to survive (and just narrowly at that). Mrs. Lot turned back (against the instructions of the angel) to take one last look at all she was leaving behind. And she paid the consequence for hanging on to the past.
When God works in our lives, when he asks something of us that just seems impossible, we can respond in several ways:
1) Like Noah, we can simply trust and obey. Even in the face of massive opposition, we can know that standing FOR God will never be a futile effort.
2) Like Lot, we can obey - kicking and screaming. The angels had to grab Lot and his family physically by their hands in order to get them out of the city. They did not want to go. Even with the angels of God standing immediately in their midst, they still were reluctant to follow. But at least they did, although they were not willing to go to the place in the mountain that God had directed them to. Instead, they chose to stay in the valley -- protected, but still far short of where God wanted them to be.
3) Like Lot's wife, we can hold on to the past and pay the consequences. Sometimes letting go is the hardest thing to do...especially if we don't see the harm in holding on to the past. Mrs. Lot, I'm sure, was very happy and comfortable where she was at. She also didn't want to go. She was not able to recognize the corruption around her in order to be able to acknowledge the riches that God had waiting for her on the mountain. She looked back. She not only lost all that she had, she lost all that could have been hers. She lost her own life.
So what do you do when you know that God is leading you outside of your comfort zone, into the unknown, or to do something that you never imagined you could do? Do you respond like Noah, who built an ark in preparation for a downpour from the sky that had never happed before? Do you respond like Lot, trying to rationalize, find alternative solutions and finally resolve to obey, but reluctantly and half-heartedly? Or do you respond like Lot's wife, not willing to let go and look ahead, not willing to take your eyes off of what you could loose in order to see what you would gain?
The same God who led Noah to build the ark and covered the earth with the flood is the same God who poured destruction upon Sodom and Gomorrah. This is the same God who guides and directs us today. This is the very same God who sent his Son to pay the penalty for our sin that no one else could pay. This is the same God who knows and loves each of us individually and intimately.
How will you respond to God's next request of you?
---------------
Journal Archive, March 2, 2005
John 11:17-37
I'm finding it interesting that, even in the midst of great grief over the loss of her brother, and disappointment that Jesus did not arrive sooner to save their brother from dying, Martha was able to give one of the most concise statements of faith anywhere in the Bible - "I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who has come into the world from God." We aren't told what Jesus' response to her was, but she must have realized at that point that Mary wasn't with her, and she ran back to get her.
The faith exhibited by Mary and Martha is something I would like to think I have in my own life. To be able to call out to Jesus in time of need, to wonder but not doubt when his timing is not what I think it should be, to express the deep faith that Martha expressed when it would be so easy to focus on myself.
Father God, I ask that you would help me to have the heart of Martha in the midst of difficult times. While it is easy to say, "Yes, Lord," when life is going smoothly, I want to know that when the troubled times hit, my faith in you will remain strong and unwavering. Thank you, Father God, for your deep love and compassion for us - for me. I know that you can see into my heart and love me because of what is there and in spite of what is there. Lord, I would ask that you continue to create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me.
Where Noah was alone in his faith in God, Lot had his Uncle Abraham praying for him. In Genesis 18, we read where Abraham bargained with God to save Lot and his family, asking that God spare the city if only ten "innocent" people could be found in Sodom. Of course, there weren't ten innocent people in Sodom. There was only Lot, his wife and his two daughters - and just how "innocent" were they? Lot had gained a significant position of authority within the city. We know this because he was there sitting at the entrance of the city, a place of honor, when the angels arrived (see Genesis 19). He knew the kind of people who lived in that city...he was aware of the many forms of perversion that took place there. He also knew enough about God to be able to recognize God's angels when they arrived. But he didn't know God well enough to trust that God's power could protect the angels. Instead he was willing to risk the lives of his own two virgin daughters - who were engaged to marry men who also happened to be outside of the house wanting to get at the angels. And just where was Lot's wife? She was probably just wishing that the angels would go away and not disrupt the lifestyle of privilege they were enjoying living in that city.
Abraham bargained to God for ten innocent people...they just weren't there, so God destroyed Sodom, Gomorrah and most of the surrounding valley. Lot and his daughters were the only ones to survive (and just narrowly at that). Mrs. Lot turned back (against the instructions of the angel) to take one last look at all she was leaving behind. And she paid the consequence for hanging on to the past.
When God works in our lives, when he asks something of us that just seems impossible, we can respond in several ways:
1) Like Noah, we can simply trust and obey. Even in the face of massive opposition, we can know that standing FOR God will never be a futile effort.
2) Like Lot, we can obey - kicking and screaming. The angels had to grab Lot and his family physically by their hands in order to get them out of the city. They did not want to go. Even with the angels of God standing immediately in their midst, they still were reluctant to follow. But at least they did, although they were not willing to go to the place in the mountain that God had directed them to. Instead, they chose to stay in the valley -- protected, but still far short of where God wanted them to be.
3) Like Lot's wife, we can hold on to the past and pay the consequences. Sometimes letting go is the hardest thing to do...especially if we don't see the harm in holding on to the past. Mrs. Lot, I'm sure, was very happy and comfortable where she was at. She also didn't want to go. She was not able to recognize the corruption around her in order to be able to acknowledge the riches that God had waiting for her on the mountain. She looked back. She not only lost all that she had, she lost all that could have been hers. She lost her own life.
So what do you do when you know that God is leading you outside of your comfort zone, into the unknown, or to do something that you never imagined you could do? Do you respond like Noah, who built an ark in preparation for a downpour from the sky that had never happed before? Do you respond like Lot, trying to rationalize, find alternative solutions and finally resolve to obey, but reluctantly and half-heartedly? Or do you respond like Lot's wife, not willing to let go and look ahead, not willing to take your eyes off of what you could loose in order to see what you would gain?
The same God who led Noah to build the ark and covered the earth with the flood is the same God who poured destruction upon Sodom and Gomorrah. This is the same God who guides and directs us today. This is the very same God who sent his Son to pay the penalty for our sin that no one else could pay. This is the same God who knows and loves each of us individually and intimately.
How will you respond to God's next request of you?
---------------
Journal Archive, March 2, 2005
John 11:17-37
I'm finding it interesting that, even in the midst of great grief over the loss of her brother, and disappointment that Jesus did not arrive sooner to save their brother from dying, Martha was able to give one of the most concise statements of faith anywhere in the Bible - "I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who has come into the world from God." We aren't told what Jesus' response to her was, but she must have realized at that point that Mary wasn't with her, and she ran back to get her.
The faith exhibited by Mary and Martha is something I would like to think I have in my own life. To be able to call out to Jesus in time of need, to wonder but not doubt when his timing is not what I think it should be, to express the deep faith that Martha expressed when it would be so easy to focus on myself.
Father God, I ask that you would help me to have the heart of Martha in the midst of difficult times. While it is easy to say, "Yes, Lord," when life is going smoothly, I want to know that when the troubled times hit, my faith in you will remain strong and unwavering. Thank you, Father God, for your deep love and compassion for us - for me. I know that you can see into my heart and love me because of what is there and in spite of what is there. Lord, I would ask that you continue to create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Talk About Being Being the Only One Taking a Stand...
Poor Noah. Here was a guy who knew what was right while the world around him was in sinful chaos. The Bible says in Genesis 6:9 that Noah was a righteous man, the only blameless person living on earth at the time, and he walked in close fellowship with God.
...And you think YOU feel alone in your faith sometimes!!
I often wonder how it was that Noah was able to stay close to God while the rest of the world fell into corruption. Who influenced him in his faith in God? There was no written Scripture back then (Moses had not yet written the first five books of the Bible), so what was it...who was it...that influenced Noah to the point of having such a strong faith while the rest of the world became so wicked that God had to destroy all living creatures? And the Bible doesn't state that his family was righteous like he was. It says that Noah was "the only blameless person living on the earth at the time."
Then God asks Noah to do something so totally out of the blue - something people had no way of understanding or relating to. You need to understand that rain had never fallen from the sky before this time. The people thought Noah was absolutely nuts. But he stood firm in his faith and was obedient to what God was telling him to do.
I have to ask myself how firm would I stand in my faith if I felt like I was the only one who believed in God? What if God asked me to do something that the rest of the world mocked and ridiculed?
We will never have to face a situation that was as extreme as Noah's (God promised -- remember the rainbow?), but I believe with all my heart that, as Christians (those of us who profess a faith in Jesus Christ and have placed our trust in his redeeming sacrifice), we are going to face more and more circumstances in the future where we may feel that we are alone...we are the only one standing for Truth. Just look around at what is going on in the world today - even in just the United States alone. Christianity is under attack. It is very subtle in many ways right now, but it is there and it is gaining momentum.
How well will you be able to do what God has asked you to do when it seems like everyone around you is against you? I wish I could answer that for myself. I would like to think that I would stand strong FOR God, that my resolve would not crumble under pressure.
Noah must have had a very strong foundation of faith under his feet, and his focus must have been soley upon God and not the mocking people around him. We need to be building that strong of a foundation of faith for ourselves. We have so many more advantages than Noah did. We aren't going to be alone...there will be others who are able to take the stand for Jesus. We have God's Word to read, to study, to memorize and internalize in order to help build that foundation. Plus we have the Holy Spirit living inside us to give us strength to stand when the time comes. The tools are there for that strong foundation -- we just have to take advantage of them.
The Bible says in Matthew 24:37-39: When the Son of Man returns, it will be like it was in Noah's day. In those days before the flood, the people were enjoying banquets and parties and weddings right up to the time Noah entered his boat. People didn't realize what was going to happen until the flood came and swept them all away. That is the way it will be when the Son of Man comes.
Is your focus on God or on the circumstances around you? If your focus is on God, you will be able to stand for him when the time comes.
------------------------------
Archive Journal Entry... March 1, 2005
Sometimes when I think about the disciples and the things they said and did when they were with Jesus, I can't help but think about how silly and foolish they sometimes were. But then I think about how I could have possibly reacted being around someone who was so totally different and special. I'm pretty sure that I would come off sounding and acting rather foolish myself.
The disciples had such a unique experience, never again to be experienced by another human being. What joy they must have had to hear Jesus speak, to see the miracles he performed, to be a part of his ministry as he walked on earth.
I can't fault them for their moments of doubt - I have them. I can't fault them for their moments of weakness - I know I certainly have them. It is because of their example that I know God is willing to stick with me, is patient with me and continues to love, guide, support and encourage me, even when I stumble and fall.
Thank you, Father God, for the reminder this morning of your love and faithfulness to me. I am unworthy, but I am so very thankful that by the blood of Jesus Christ I have the authority to come to your throne. You alone are worthy of all praise.
...And you think YOU feel alone in your faith sometimes!!
I often wonder how it was that Noah was able to stay close to God while the rest of the world fell into corruption. Who influenced him in his faith in God? There was no written Scripture back then (Moses had not yet written the first five books of the Bible), so what was it...who was it...that influenced Noah to the point of having such a strong faith while the rest of the world became so wicked that God had to destroy all living creatures? And the Bible doesn't state that his family was righteous like he was. It says that Noah was "the only blameless person living on the earth at the time."
Then God asks Noah to do something so totally out of the blue - something people had no way of understanding or relating to. You need to understand that rain had never fallen from the sky before this time. The people thought Noah was absolutely nuts. But he stood firm in his faith and was obedient to what God was telling him to do.
I have to ask myself how firm would I stand in my faith if I felt like I was the only one who believed in God? What if God asked me to do something that the rest of the world mocked and ridiculed?
We will never have to face a situation that was as extreme as Noah's (God promised -- remember the rainbow?), but I believe with all my heart that, as Christians (those of us who profess a faith in Jesus Christ and have placed our trust in his redeeming sacrifice), we are going to face more and more circumstances in the future where we may feel that we are alone...we are the only one standing for Truth. Just look around at what is going on in the world today - even in just the United States alone. Christianity is under attack. It is very subtle in many ways right now, but it is there and it is gaining momentum.
How well will you be able to do what God has asked you to do when it seems like everyone around you is against you? I wish I could answer that for myself. I would like to think that I would stand strong FOR God, that my resolve would not crumble under pressure.
Noah must have had a very strong foundation of faith under his feet, and his focus must have been soley upon God and not the mocking people around him. We need to be building that strong of a foundation of faith for ourselves. We have so many more advantages than Noah did. We aren't going to be alone...there will be others who are able to take the stand for Jesus. We have God's Word to read, to study, to memorize and internalize in order to help build that foundation. Plus we have the Holy Spirit living inside us to give us strength to stand when the time comes. The tools are there for that strong foundation -- we just have to take advantage of them.
The Bible says in Matthew 24:37-39: When the Son of Man returns, it will be like it was in Noah's day. In those days before the flood, the people were enjoying banquets and parties and weddings right up to the time Noah entered his boat. People didn't realize what was going to happen until the flood came and swept them all away. That is the way it will be when the Son of Man comes.
Is your focus on God or on the circumstances around you? If your focus is on God, you will be able to stand for him when the time comes.
------------------------------
Archive Journal Entry... March 1, 2005
Sometimes when I think about the disciples and the things they said and did when they were with Jesus, I can't help but think about how silly and foolish they sometimes were. But then I think about how I could have possibly reacted being around someone who was so totally different and special. I'm pretty sure that I would come off sounding and acting rather foolish myself.
The disciples had such a unique experience, never again to be experienced by another human being. What joy they must have had to hear Jesus speak, to see the miracles he performed, to be a part of his ministry as he walked on earth.
I can't fault them for their moments of doubt - I have them. I can't fault them for their moments of weakness - I know I certainly have them. It is because of their example that I know God is willing to stick with me, is patient with me and continues to love, guide, support and encourage me, even when I stumble and fall.
Thank you, Father God, for the reminder this morning of your love and faithfulness to me. I am unworthy, but I am so very thankful that by the blood of Jesus Christ I have the authority to come to your throne. You alone are worthy of all praise.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Having It All
Have you ever wondered to yourself (or even spoken out loud), if I ONLY had this or that, I could be happy (content, satisfied, whatever)? To obtain the nicest, biggest, fanciest, tastiest, shiniest "thing" would just make it all worthwhile.
I once heard about a woman who had EVERYTHING she needed...literally. She had an incredible husband (very attentive, handsome and strong), she had all the food and possessions in the world she could want, and she didn't worry for a moment about having something appropriate to wear to the next special event. Why, she even thought she had a good relationship with God...one that would sustain her through the tough times (even though she really had not yet experienced "tough times").
But then one day someone pointed out something to her that she didn't have, and it planted the suggestion in her mind that her life was lacking because she didn't have this one thing. And it drove her nuts. She lost focus on all that was hers around her - the abundance of all that was hers. She lost focus on her relationship with God. Her only focus became this one thing she couldn't have. And she did what she needed to do to have this one thing. She obtained it, and it destroyed EVERYTHING! She lost all that she had that gave her security, peace and comfort.
Do you recognize who this woman was? You can read about her in the first few chapters of Genesis.
During my quiet time this morning, I read in Genesis 3 how the serpent came and tempted Eve and she ate of the fruit that God had forbidden her to eat. I began thinking about all that this woman had prior to eating the fruit. She had everything she needed - and wanted - in abundance. (Can you just imagine tasting the produce grown in that garden? How sweet and flavorful it must have been!) She was content until the serpent pointed out this one lone tree in the middle of the garden - the only tree in the entire garden that God had put a restriction on.
I wonder why it was so easy for Eve to have been distracted from all that she had to focus on the one thing she didn't have. Are we really all that different? How easily do we lose focus of what we have (what God has given us) and desire the things that we don't.
Adam and Eve had a unique relationship with God prior to the whole "fruit incident." God "walked" with them, they fellowshiped together in sweet communion. And all of that was lost (not only for them, but for the rest of humanity) because they lusted after something that was not for them to begin with.
I wonder where I am in my own walk with God. While I know that I am saved by God's grace and will one day live with him in heaven, I still struggle with overcoming my sin nature, and I will still do things that get in the way of obtaining that same sweet fellowship that Adam and Eve had with God. I know that it is so easy to be distracted by what the world says is necessary for happiness and contentment in life. So often my focus is lured away from God.
But my heart still hungers after him, and I find the more that I seek after him, the more he satisfies.
David and I are downsizing...we are getting rid of a lot of "stuff" - things that can tie us down, get in our way or distract us from our purpose. I used to desire "things" for my home - to decorate it accordng to the current trend, to have family heirlooms and trinkets sitting all around. While those things are nice, I don't desire them any longer.
My heart's desire is to be free to serve God with all that I am and all that he has given me. I feel God leading us to become more "mobile" - to be in a position of being able to quickly go where he wants us to go. I've had people ask if that means we are going to move into an RV and travel the country! LOL!! Actually, that sounds like fun - and, who knows, that might be exactly what God is leading us to.
So, as I process through letting go the things of this world - things that won't matter in eternity to come - I find my heart less distracted and becoming more focused on God's direction and desire for us. I know there will be times when I will get distracted again...it will happen far too often, I'm afraid. But because I can see the work God is already doing in my life now, I have confidence that he will continue that work until he calls me home!
--------------------------
I started going through some of my older journals the other day, and I decided I'd start copying them into my blog here. So here is the first one...
This was written on May 5, 2004, during my "date with God" where I spent some time alone with him at Saylorville Lake:
Father, here I sit by Saylorville Lake wanting to meet iwth you and connect with you. I pray right now, dear God, that you would create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. I want my heart - the deepest recesses - to be opened before you so that I can come before you completely honest, completely humbled, completely vulnerable.
Father, I have sinned against you and I continue to be weak. I know what I am doing is sin. I know that it grieves your Spirit so when I blatantly ignore his promptings. My greatrest sin is seeking my own will over yours, placing my own selfish desires over your selfless ones for me.
How can I expect to be used of you for your perfect purpose when I am so far from where you would want me to be? Father God, I still believe it is my heart's desire to serve you with my entire being - with my body, mind and soul. God, you have given me so much, so much I have taken for granted. I am blessed, so blessed by you - you have given me everything I need. Forgive me, Lord, when I am ungrateful. Forgive me when I seek my own way. Fill me, Lord, with your Spirit so deeply that all I connect with is you.
Help me to identify and clear out all those things that would quench the Spirit from total effectiveness in my life. Help me to seek you first in all things - emotional, mental, physical and spiritual.
Psalm 92:4 says, "You thrill me, Lord, with all you have done for me. I sing for joy because of what you have done."
How great are you, Lord, that even in the midst of my sorrow over my sin, you reach down and touch me. You reach down and speak to my heart. You don't turn your back on me. You don't cast me away from you. Even when I stand before you with the shame of my guilt, you remind me of your love for me. You restore my soul to wholeness.
God, I am so unworthy of this precious gift, and yet I am so overwhelmed with gratitude. How I praise you, God, for loving me, for forgiving me and for restoring me to yourself. I am the softened clay in the Potter's hand to be remade again and again, lovingly gently, carefully. You are perfect, Lord, in your creation. The flaws that appear in me are of my own making, but you are gracious in restoring those flaws back to perfection through Jesus Christ. Thank you, Father.
I once heard about a woman who had EVERYTHING she needed...literally. She had an incredible husband (very attentive, handsome and strong), she had all the food and possessions in the world she could want, and she didn't worry for a moment about having something appropriate to wear to the next special event. Why, she even thought she had a good relationship with God...one that would sustain her through the tough times (even though she really had not yet experienced "tough times").
But then one day someone pointed out something to her that she didn't have, and it planted the suggestion in her mind that her life was lacking because she didn't have this one thing. And it drove her nuts. She lost focus on all that was hers around her - the abundance of all that was hers. She lost focus on her relationship with God. Her only focus became this one thing she couldn't have. And she did what she needed to do to have this one thing. She obtained it, and it destroyed EVERYTHING! She lost all that she had that gave her security, peace and comfort.
Do you recognize who this woman was? You can read about her in the first few chapters of Genesis.
During my quiet time this morning, I read in Genesis 3 how the serpent came and tempted Eve and she ate of the fruit that God had forbidden her to eat. I began thinking about all that this woman had prior to eating the fruit. She had everything she needed - and wanted - in abundance. (Can you just imagine tasting the produce grown in that garden? How sweet and flavorful it must have been!) She was content until the serpent pointed out this one lone tree in the middle of the garden - the only tree in the entire garden that God had put a restriction on.
I wonder why it was so easy for Eve to have been distracted from all that she had to focus on the one thing she didn't have. Are we really all that different? How easily do we lose focus of what we have (what God has given us) and desire the things that we don't.
Adam and Eve had a unique relationship with God prior to the whole "fruit incident." God "walked" with them, they fellowshiped together in sweet communion. And all of that was lost (not only for them, but for the rest of humanity) because they lusted after something that was not for them to begin with.
I wonder where I am in my own walk with God. While I know that I am saved by God's grace and will one day live with him in heaven, I still struggle with overcoming my sin nature, and I will still do things that get in the way of obtaining that same sweet fellowship that Adam and Eve had with God. I know that it is so easy to be distracted by what the world says is necessary for happiness and contentment in life. So often my focus is lured away from God.
But my heart still hungers after him, and I find the more that I seek after him, the more he satisfies.
David and I are downsizing...we are getting rid of a lot of "stuff" - things that can tie us down, get in our way or distract us from our purpose. I used to desire "things" for my home - to decorate it accordng to the current trend, to have family heirlooms and trinkets sitting all around. While those things are nice, I don't desire them any longer.
My heart's desire is to be free to serve God with all that I am and all that he has given me. I feel God leading us to become more "mobile" - to be in a position of being able to quickly go where he wants us to go. I've had people ask if that means we are going to move into an RV and travel the country! LOL!! Actually, that sounds like fun - and, who knows, that might be exactly what God is leading us to.
So, as I process through letting go the things of this world - things that won't matter in eternity to come - I find my heart less distracted and becoming more focused on God's direction and desire for us. I know there will be times when I will get distracted again...it will happen far too often, I'm afraid. But because I can see the work God is already doing in my life now, I have confidence that he will continue that work until he calls me home!
--------------------------
I started going through some of my older journals the other day, and I decided I'd start copying them into my blog here. So here is the first one...
This was written on May 5, 2004, during my "date with God" where I spent some time alone with him at Saylorville Lake:
Father, here I sit by Saylorville Lake wanting to meet iwth you and connect with you. I pray right now, dear God, that you would create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. I want my heart - the deepest recesses - to be opened before you so that I can come before you completely honest, completely humbled, completely vulnerable.
Father, I have sinned against you and I continue to be weak. I know what I am doing is sin. I know that it grieves your Spirit so when I blatantly ignore his promptings. My greatrest sin is seeking my own will over yours, placing my own selfish desires over your selfless ones for me.
How can I expect to be used of you for your perfect purpose when I am so far from where you would want me to be? Father God, I still believe it is my heart's desire to serve you with my entire being - with my body, mind and soul. God, you have given me so much, so much I have taken for granted. I am blessed, so blessed by you - you have given me everything I need. Forgive me, Lord, when I am ungrateful. Forgive me when I seek my own way. Fill me, Lord, with your Spirit so deeply that all I connect with is you.
Help me to identify and clear out all those things that would quench the Spirit from total effectiveness in my life. Help me to seek you first in all things - emotional, mental, physical and spiritual.
Psalm 92:4 says, "You thrill me, Lord, with all you have done for me. I sing for joy because of what you have done."
How great are you, Lord, that even in the midst of my sorrow over my sin, you reach down and touch me. You reach down and speak to my heart. You don't turn your back on me. You don't cast me away from you. Even when I stand before you with the shame of my guilt, you remind me of your love for me. You restore my soul to wholeness.
God, I am so unworthy of this precious gift, and yet I am so overwhelmed with gratitude. How I praise you, God, for loving me, for forgiving me and for restoring me to yourself. I am the softened clay in the Potter's hand to be remade again and again, lovingly gently, carefully. You are perfect, Lord, in your creation. The flaws that appear in me are of my own making, but you are gracious in restoring those flaws back to perfection through Jesus Christ. Thank you, Father.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Getting Started...
I tend to find that just getting started is the hardest part. Anticipation and planning can go like clockwork, but it's taking that first step to actually start is the hardest. And I've found in my own life that usually that first step - the one that causes all the anxiety and trepidation - really does not live up to the expecation created by my own thoughts and imaginings.
So, here I am, starting my very own first blog. Hey, Gayle, welcome to the 21st century! Haha. So far, so good - probably because no one but me knows this is here. But I think the point of writing a blog is so that others can read it, get to know me, get to know my heart, and maybe, just maybe, be pointed towards a loving God and precious Savior as a result of what I share.
I've journaled for several years. I started shortly after I moved to Iowa, following my separation from my ex-husband. It was very helpful to me to be able to write down my thoughts, my prayers, my hopes and my fears. As I read back over some of those journal entries, I am amazed by the path that God led me on. So much of what I was going through back then makes more sense to me now. My hope is that someday, I'll be able to edit all of those entries into a book that will help other women go through the process of healing from brokenness to being "remade by the Potter's hand."
It was the passage in Jeremiah about the Potter and the clay that brought about my greatest healing. It was the image of being recreated - the past no longer being held against me - that really showed me what God's grace is all about. I am a new creation, once again made in the image of God. I have worth, I have value, and I have a purpose in God's kingdom. And my worth, value and purpose all point towards Jesus Christ, my Savior and Lord. As I strive to live my life in a way that brings Him honor and glory, I can only pray that He will use me to point others towards Him.
This morning, this song by Kathy Troccoli is going through my mind...
Life can be so good
Life can be so hard
Never knowing what each day
Will bring to where you are
Sometimes I forget
And sometimes I can't see
That whatever comes my way
You'll be with me
My life is in your hands
My heart is in your keeping
I'm never without love
Not when my future is with you
My life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands
Nothing is for sure
Nothing is for keeps
All I know is that your love
Will live eternally
So I will find my way, yes
And I will find my peace
Knowing that you'll meet my every need
My life is in your hands
My heart is in your keeping
I'm never without love
Not when my future is with you
My life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands
When I'm at my weakest love
You carry me
Then I become my strongest love
In your handsMy life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands
I trust you LordMy life is in your hands
David and I are expecting the unexpected to happen over the next several weeks and months. We are seeing God moving us to a new level...and we're not exactly sure where He is leading us yet. But we are excited to know that it is God who it leading. So we continue to pray for direction, peace and assurance as we take each step forward in faith. As it has been so interesting to go back and reread my journal entries from years ago, I look forward to going back and rereading my blog entries as time goes by to see where God has taken me.
Above all else, to His name be all the glory, now and forever more!
So, here I am, starting my very own first blog. Hey, Gayle, welcome to the 21st century! Haha. So far, so good - probably because no one but me knows this is here. But I think the point of writing a blog is so that others can read it, get to know me, get to know my heart, and maybe, just maybe, be pointed towards a loving God and precious Savior as a result of what I share.
I've journaled for several years. I started shortly after I moved to Iowa, following my separation from my ex-husband. It was very helpful to me to be able to write down my thoughts, my prayers, my hopes and my fears. As I read back over some of those journal entries, I am amazed by the path that God led me on. So much of what I was going through back then makes more sense to me now. My hope is that someday, I'll be able to edit all of those entries into a book that will help other women go through the process of healing from brokenness to being "remade by the Potter's hand."
It was the passage in Jeremiah about the Potter and the clay that brought about my greatest healing. It was the image of being recreated - the past no longer being held against me - that really showed me what God's grace is all about. I am a new creation, once again made in the image of God. I have worth, I have value, and I have a purpose in God's kingdom. And my worth, value and purpose all point towards Jesus Christ, my Savior and Lord. As I strive to live my life in a way that brings Him honor and glory, I can only pray that He will use me to point others towards Him.
This morning, this song by Kathy Troccoli is going through my mind...
Life can be so good
Life can be so hard
Never knowing what each day
Will bring to where you are
Sometimes I forget
And sometimes I can't see
That whatever comes my way
You'll be with me
My life is in your hands
My heart is in your keeping
I'm never without love
Not when my future is with you
My life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands
Nothing is for sure
Nothing is for keeps
All I know is that your love
Will live eternally
So I will find my way, yes
And I will find my peace
Knowing that you'll meet my every need
My life is in your hands
My heart is in your keeping
I'm never without love
Not when my future is with you
My life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands
When I'm at my weakest love
You carry me
Then I become my strongest love
In your handsMy life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands
I trust you LordMy life is in your hands
David and I are expecting the unexpected to happen over the next several weeks and months. We are seeing God moving us to a new level...and we're not exactly sure where He is leading us yet. But we are excited to know that it is God who it leading. So we continue to pray for direction, peace and assurance as we take each step forward in faith. As it has been so interesting to go back and reread my journal entries from years ago, I look forward to going back and rereading my blog entries as time goes by to see where God has taken me.
Above all else, to His name be all the glory, now and forever more!
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