This morning as I read through my quiet time devotional and reflected on the season, I began to think about that moment in time over 2,000 years ago when a single Baby was born in that stable. He was a unique Baby - definitely one of a kind. There was never anyone like Him before then and there will never be anyone like Him again. He was Emmanuel - God with us.
In my mind's eye, I imagined seeing that small Baby wrapped in those simple cloths, being watched over by Joseph and Mary, His mother. A fully human baby, and yet He was also fully God.
Just imagine! This God who created the earth (Gen. 1) and all the other planets, and numbered and named each of the stars (Psalm 147:4)...this God who is eternal (Isaiah 40:28), who is so far beyond what our limited minds can comprehend...this God chose a small moment in time at an insignificant location with a poor unknown family to come to earth to impact all of mankind for all eternity. Jesus Christ was the full embodiment of the diety of God within the full embodiment of flesh. I don't know about you, but it takes my breath away.
Sometimes it is easy to try to fit my concept of God into a nice, neat little bundle...one that doesn't upset my balance or interfere in my day-to-day activities. But the times that I sit and really contemplate who God is...and who am I to Him...it can become overwhelming. We are so finite in our ability to understand Him. God gives us simple glimpses of Who He is in His Word, and through the help of the Holy Spirit, we are able to comprehend limited bits, but what we know now and can comprehend now is but the tiniest fraction of the whole truth of Who God is.
It's like that small moment in time when Emmanuel was born, so small is our understanding of God. But God did give us that small moment in time. He did give us Emmanuel...God with us...so that we could know Him better, more intimately, more uniquely than ever before.
I praise God for that small baby born in Bethlehem...for the God of all eternity to dwell here on earth as a man and then die to pay a penalty we could not pay...it is definitely the greatest gift ever given.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
How Things Change...
During this past summer, I began to sense the God was moving within our ministry -- moving towards change. I felt that God was telling me that we needed to become more "mobile," to be more ready to go quickly where He was leading us to go. During that time, we were not sure exactly where it was that God was leading us, but we felt that change was coming.
As you may know from reading some of my previous blog entries, God recently moved us from West Des Moines to the Kansas City area, specifically Raytown, Missiouri. We settled in quickly into our new home, a cozy little house that is full of charm and character.
David thoroughly enjoys his new job as manager of the magic/costume division of US Toy Company. He's able to make use of his experience as a manager, his skills as a salesperson and his talent as a magician every single day. Through some of the contacts he's made with customers, we've actually been able to book a couple of birthday parties and have some potential church events in the works.
We're getting plugged into our new home church, Raytown First Baptist Church, and are enjoying getting to know so many new people (it's going to take a while to remember names and faces, but it's a start). This is a very large church with many opportunties to serve and to be ministered to, so we are looking forward to seeing just where exactly God is going to plug us in.
Since May of this year, we have been looking forward to a short term missions trip to India. We contacted many of our family and friends to ask for prayer support and possibly financial support for this trip. Initially the trip was to have taken place in September, but that was postponed to January of 2010. We had our passports and innoculations all taken care of, and we were beginning to get the ball rolling on our visas. All of the money that had been so generously donated to us for the purpose of this missions trip was carefully set aside until needed for trip related expenses. Even when finances began to get a little tight for our regular ministry and personal needs, we determined not to touch those missions funds until they were needed.
When David had his disastrous encounter with a deer on October 6th as he was driving home from Kansas City (see my blog entry of October 7th), we were put into an extremely difficult place financially. Bookings had slowed down some during the summer, and it was becoming a challenge to meet our monthly expenses. Because we didn't have comprehensive coverage on the van (the value of the van didn't warrant it...we thought) and the van had been totalled as a result of the collision with the deer, we were placed in a position of having to come up with immediate funds in order to be able to purchase another vehicle. The only money immediately available to us was the India fund money. As difficult as the decision was, we felt we had no other option but to use that money to purchase another used vehicle. It was our intention and hope that we would be able to replace that money once we got moved down to Kansas City.
In spite of our heartfelt desires, we were not able to get the additional event bookings to help us replenish those funds. The past several months have been extremely difficult financially, and we are still in the process of trying to work through what debts are still outstanding.
Because the mission money would have had to been replenished at least by mid-month this month (so that reasonably priced airline tickets could be purchased), we just do not see that as being a realistic possibility. While we know that with God ALL things are possible, and it is certainly within God's ability to be able to provide us with the money we still need in order to replenish our India fund and go on this short term missions trip, we do not feel that it is fair to Campus Crusade to keep them hanging on until the last minute.
So it is with sadness we made the decision to back out of the India missions trip.
We know that there are several people who generously gave money to us specifically for this missions trip, and we will be in contact soon with them in order to work out the details of how to best reconcile those donations.
We aren't sure why God would have opened this door, prompted so many to give from their hearts in support of this missions trip, got us this close to going, and then have that door close. I suppose it might be possible that God knew that David would be having an unexpected encounter with a deer in October and that we would need to have those funds in reserve so that we would not be stranded without a vehicle. We just don't know. We can't begin to know or understand the mind of God or how it is that He accomplishes His purpose. All that we can know is that He is in control, and when our desire is to serve Him, we have to trust Him to open and shut the doors as He ordains.
We would still love to go on an international missions trip someday. I think it would be an awesome experience. But until God opens that door again for us, we will be joyful in serving Him here in our own Jerusalem, Judea and Samaria.
Your continued prayers on our behalf for the ministry of Williamson Productions is greatly appreciated. Without God, we are nothing, and without the prayer support of our precious friends and family, we are weak and vulnerable.
May God bless you and your family during this incredible holiday season. Remember that Jesus Christ is the ONLY reason for this season. And without Christmas, there would be no Easter. And without Easter there would be no hope. Praise God for that Baby born in a manger.
As you may know from reading some of my previous blog entries, God recently moved us from West Des Moines to the Kansas City area, specifically Raytown, Missiouri. We settled in quickly into our new home, a cozy little house that is full of charm and character.
David thoroughly enjoys his new job as manager of the magic/costume division of US Toy Company. He's able to make use of his experience as a manager, his skills as a salesperson and his talent as a magician every single day. Through some of the contacts he's made with customers, we've actually been able to book a couple of birthday parties and have some potential church events in the works.
We're getting plugged into our new home church, Raytown First Baptist Church, and are enjoying getting to know so many new people (it's going to take a while to remember names and faces, but it's a start). This is a very large church with many opportunties to serve and to be ministered to, so we are looking forward to seeing just where exactly God is going to plug us in.
Since May of this year, we have been looking forward to a short term missions trip to India. We contacted many of our family and friends to ask for prayer support and possibly financial support for this trip. Initially the trip was to have taken place in September, but that was postponed to January of 2010. We had our passports and innoculations all taken care of, and we were beginning to get the ball rolling on our visas. All of the money that had been so generously donated to us for the purpose of this missions trip was carefully set aside until needed for trip related expenses. Even when finances began to get a little tight for our regular ministry and personal needs, we determined not to touch those missions funds until they were needed.
When David had his disastrous encounter with a deer on October 6th as he was driving home from Kansas City (see my blog entry of October 7th), we were put into an extremely difficult place financially. Bookings had slowed down some during the summer, and it was becoming a challenge to meet our monthly expenses. Because we didn't have comprehensive coverage on the van (the value of the van didn't warrant it...we thought) and the van had been totalled as a result of the collision with the deer, we were placed in a position of having to come up with immediate funds in order to be able to purchase another vehicle. The only money immediately available to us was the India fund money. As difficult as the decision was, we felt we had no other option but to use that money to purchase another used vehicle. It was our intention and hope that we would be able to replace that money once we got moved down to Kansas City.
In spite of our heartfelt desires, we were not able to get the additional event bookings to help us replenish those funds. The past several months have been extremely difficult financially, and we are still in the process of trying to work through what debts are still outstanding.
Because the mission money would have had to been replenished at least by mid-month this month (so that reasonably priced airline tickets could be purchased), we just do not see that as being a realistic possibility. While we know that with God ALL things are possible, and it is certainly within God's ability to be able to provide us with the money we still need in order to replenish our India fund and go on this short term missions trip, we do not feel that it is fair to Campus Crusade to keep them hanging on until the last minute.
So it is with sadness we made the decision to back out of the India missions trip.
We know that there are several people who generously gave money to us specifically for this missions trip, and we will be in contact soon with them in order to work out the details of how to best reconcile those donations.
We aren't sure why God would have opened this door, prompted so many to give from their hearts in support of this missions trip, got us this close to going, and then have that door close. I suppose it might be possible that God knew that David would be having an unexpected encounter with a deer in October and that we would need to have those funds in reserve so that we would not be stranded without a vehicle. We just don't know. We can't begin to know or understand the mind of God or how it is that He accomplishes His purpose. All that we can know is that He is in control, and when our desire is to serve Him, we have to trust Him to open and shut the doors as He ordains.
We would still love to go on an international missions trip someday. I think it would be an awesome experience. But until God opens that door again for us, we will be joyful in serving Him here in our own Jerusalem, Judea and Samaria.
Your continued prayers on our behalf for the ministry of Williamson Productions is greatly appreciated. Without God, we are nothing, and without the prayer support of our precious friends and family, we are weak and vulnerable.
May God bless you and your family during this incredible holiday season. Remember that Jesus Christ is the ONLY reason for this season. And without Christmas, there would be no Easter. And without Easter there would be no hope. Praise God for that Baby born in a manger.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Portrait of Christ
There is a part of the opening routine David and I do during a performance where a silk scarf with a drawing of Jesus on it is produced and displayed for our audience. The drawing of Jesus on the silk scarf shows him with very fair skin and blue eyes - two physical traits that we serious doubt Jesus had, being of Jewish descent in the Middle East. David will usually say something to the effect of "This is just a drawing of Jesus. We don't know what He really looked like. It is simply to remind us of Jesus."
There have been many artists throughout the centuries who have tried to guess what Jesus might have looked like through images seen in painting, sculptures, etc. And I am sure that each of us in our own ways have tried to imagine what Jesus might have looked like while He was here on earth. I think we'll all be in for a great surprise when we finally see Him face to face. I don't think He's going to look anything like what we could possibly imagine.
I've been going through a book during my morning devotions called 100 Portraits of Christ by Henry Gariepy. In this book, the author has taken 100 of the many names and titles by which Jesus is referred to in the Bible and written a brief description about each. Some of these names and titles include: Alpha and Omega, Ancient of Days, Only Begotten Son, I Am, and Indescribable Gift. Reading through these has begun to create in my mind an awesome portrait of Jesus. It isn't a physical portrait...rather, it is much more than that. As we begin to see Jesus Christ as He is described in the Bible, we get a clearer and deeper image of who God is. We begin to see how Jesus can be nothing less than God Himself.
A couple of weeks ago, just before we moved to Missouri, I had the opportunity to speak with a couple of young Mormon (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) missionaries. They were coming up to our front door just as I was seeing David off on another commute to Kansas City. I had been hoping for quite some time that Mormon missionaries would stop by our house. I've done much studying about Mormonism since having lived in Utah, and I wanted to have a chance to share God's truth with a couple of them.
I invited them in, and we did have quite a nice discussion. I think I might have caught them off guard by how much I knew about their doctrines and was able to discuss it without being argumentative or combative. We talked for about an hour and a half. The conversation ended when they asked me to pray over the Book of Mormon. I politely refused, but I encouraged them to dig deep into the Bible to see what it had to say to them.
One of the things that I noted during our discussion was their inability to see the portrait of who Jesus Christ truly is. Because of the deceptive writings of Joseph Smith and subsequent Mormon prophets, their ability to see and recognize the true Jesus Christ is severly hampered. They do not know Jesus as the Mighty God (Isaiah 9:6) or as the great I Am (John 8:58) or as the Word (Rev. 19:13). Their vision of Jesus is blurred and obscured - enough that they miss out on the reality of Jesus that truly saves us.
My heart breaks for those two young men, and I continue to pray that something I said to them will cause them to question and search for their answers within the Bible alone. May they see a portrait of Christ emerge that is irresistable and life-changing.
A drawing, a painting, a sculpture, even an actor's depiction of Jesus - these things are not true representations of who Jesus is. The Bible gives us all we need to know about who Jesus is.
I do look forward to the day when I get to see Jesus face to face. I love the song, "I Can Only Imagine" because it speaks so much about my own anticipation of what it will be like. The day when imagining becomes reality will be a wonderful day, indeed!!
There have been many artists throughout the centuries who have tried to guess what Jesus might have looked like through images seen in painting, sculptures, etc. And I am sure that each of us in our own ways have tried to imagine what Jesus might have looked like while He was here on earth. I think we'll all be in for a great surprise when we finally see Him face to face. I don't think He's going to look anything like what we could possibly imagine.
I've been going through a book during my morning devotions called 100 Portraits of Christ by Henry Gariepy. In this book, the author has taken 100 of the many names and titles by which Jesus is referred to in the Bible and written a brief description about each. Some of these names and titles include: Alpha and Omega, Ancient of Days, Only Begotten Son, I Am, and Indescribable Gift. Reading through these has begun to create in my mind an awesome portrait of Jesus. It isn't a physical portrait...rather, it is much more than that. As we begin to see Jesus Christ as He is described in the Bible, we get a clearer and deeper image of who God is. We begin to see how Jesus can be nothing less than God Himself.
A couple of weeks ago, just before we moved to Missouri, I had the opportunity to speak with a couple of young Mormon (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) missionaries. They were coming up to our front door just as I was seeing David off on another commute to Kansas City. I had been hoping for quite some time that Mormon missionaries would stop by our house. I've done much studying about Mormonism since having lived in Utah, and I wanted to have a chance to share God's truth with a couple of them.
I invited them in, and we did have quite a nice discussion. I think I might have caught them off guard by how much I knew about their doctrines and was able to discuss it without being argumentative or combative. We talked for about an hour and a half. The conversation ended when they asked me to pray over the Book of Mormon. I politely refused, but I encouraged them to dig deep into the Bible to see what it had to say to them.
One of the things that I noted during our discussion was their inability to see the portrait of who Jesus Christ truly is. Because of the deceptive writings of Joseph Smith and subsequent Mormon prophets, their ability to see and recognize the true Jesus Christ is severly hampered. They do not know Jesus as the Mighty God (Isaiah 9:6) or as the great I Am (John 8:58) or as the Word (Rev. 19:13). Their vision of Jesus is blurred and obscured - enough that they miss out on the reality of Jesus that truly saves us.
My heart breaks for those two young men, and I continue to pray that something I said to them will cause them to question and search for their answers within the Bible alone. May they see a portrait of Christ emerge that is irresistable and life-changing.
A drawing, a painting, a sculpture, even an actor's depiction of Jesus - these things are not true representations of who Jesus is. The Bible gives us all we need to know about who Jesus is.
I do look forward to the day when I get to see Jesus face to face. I love the song, "I Can Only Imagine" because it speaks so much about my own anticipation of what it will be like. The day when imagining becomes reality will be a wonderful day, indeed!!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Maintaining Focus
I woke up early this morning (approximately 4 am) and my mind was racing, as is often the cause when I wake up early or often during the night. I don't normally classify myself as a "worrier," but I'll admit that I was worrying. About several different things. And it seemed like anytime I tried to pray about it, my mind just started spinning off in another direction, and I felt very disconnected from God.
We went ahead and "borrowed" the money from our India fund in order to purchase a new vehicle yesterday. We went back to the used car dealership where we had purchased our van not long ago. Because we felt we had been treated well and forthrightly when we purchased our van from them, we figured they might be able to do right by us again. Blair, the GM, we knew was a Christian from our previous conversations with him. Mike, the salesman, was trying to be "Christian" but from the things he was saying to us, I don't think the heart change that comes from a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ was there. I was able to encourage Mike to seek to grow his personal relationship with God and to spend time in his Bible getting to know God better.
We found a used 1999 Ford Explorer that looked as though it might work for us, but the price was higher than what we had to spend. We told Mike that we would like to buy it, but it would have to be for X amount of money (cash we had in hand) - including tax, licensing, everthing... He went to talk with Blair, and Blair agreed to sell us the Explorer for the amount of money we had. Not only that, as we were leaving the showroom to head home, Blair followed us out and asked if he could pray with us before we left, which he did. It was such an encouragement for him to do that. We left feeling that God had again provided for us a vehicle that would work well for our ministry.
We have seen God provide time and time again for us and the ministry...so why does my heart tend to return to worrying about the future and finances so readily? I was awake throughout the night worrying about being able to pay back the money we borrowed from our India fund. I was worrying about having enough money to cover our moving expenses and start up expenses down in Kansas City. I was worrying about David and his state of mind. I was worrying about the future of the ministry and were we still where God wanted us to be. And everytime I would try to focus my mind to pray, another worry would creep in and distract me.
I finally got up out of bed around 4:30 and went downstairs to have my quiet time. As I read my Bible passage, God gave me what I needed in order to refocus my priorities. It was Psalm 19.
Psalm 19 - For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
2 Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge.
3 There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard.
4 Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun,
5 which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
6 It rises at one end of the heavens and makes its circuit to the other;
nothing is hidden from its heat.
7 The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple.
8 The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes.
9 The fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever.
The ordinances of the LORD are sure and altogether righteous.
10 They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb.
11 By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.
12 Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults.
13 Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression.
14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Old King David certainly had a lot more to worry about than I do, and if he was able to regain his focus -- to look and find God - in nature, and in His Word -- then I can regain my focus. I have not been as attentive to my quiet time and Bible study as I should have. Details of moving, ministry and finances have certainly been a distraction, but that cannot be an excuse.
God must be my focus, because it IS all about HIM. He is my purpose for being. He is my purpose for doing. Of course, I'll get discouraged and anxious if I focus on myself, but if my focus is on God, then there is no place for discouragement or anxiousness. Because He is all. And that is the greatest source of comfort.
We went ahead and "borrowed" the money from our India fund in order to purchase a new vehicle yesterday. We went back to the used car dealership where we had purchased our van not long ago. Because we felt we had been treated well and forthrightly when we purchased our van from them, we figured they might be able to do right by us again. Blair, the GM, we knew was a Christian from our previous conversations with him. Mike, the salesman, was trying to be "Christian" but from the things he was saying to us, I don't think the heart change that comes from a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ was there. I was able to encourage Mike to seek to grow his personal relationship with God and to spend time in his Bible getting to know God better.
We found a used 1999 Ford Explorer that looked as though it might work for us, but the price was higher than what we had to spend. We told Mike that we would like to buy it, but it would have to be for X amount of money (cash we had in hand) - including tax, licensing, everthing... He went to talk with Blair, and Blair agreed to sell us the Explorer for the amount of money we had. Not only that, as we were leaving the showroom to head home, Blair followed us out and asked if he could pray with us before we left, which he did. It was such an encouragement for him to do that. We left feeling that God had again provided for us a vehicle that would work well for our ministry.
We have seen God provide time and time again for us and the ministry...so why does my heart tend to return to worrying about the future and finances so readily? I was awake throughout the night worrying about being able to pay back the money we borrowed from our India fund. I was worrying about having enough money to cover our moving expenses and start up expenses down in Kansas City. I was worrying about David and his state of mind. I was worrying about the future of the ministry and were we still where God wanted us to be. And everytime I would try to focus my mind to pray, another worry would creep in and distract me.
I finally got up out of bed around 4:30 and went downstairs to have my quiet time. As I read my Bible passage, God gave me what I needed in order to refocus my priorities. It was Psalm 19.
Psalm 19 - For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
2 Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge.
3 There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard.
4 Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun,
5 which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
6 It rises at one end of the heavens and makes its circuit to the other;
nothing is hidden from its heat.
7 The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple.
8 The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes.
9 The fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever.
The ordinances of the LORD are sure and altogether righteous.
10 They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb.
11 By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.
12 Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults.
13 Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression.
14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Old King David certainly had a lot more to worry about than I do, and if he was able to regain his focus -- to look and find God - in nature, and in His Word -- then I can regain my focus. I have not been as attentive to my quiet time and Bible study as I should have. Details of moving, ministry and finances have certainly been a distraction, but that cannot be an excuse.
God must be my focus, because it IS all about HIM. He is my purpose for being. He is my purpose for doing. Of course, I'll get discouraged and anxious if I focus on myself, but if my focus is on God, then there is no place for discouragement or anxiousness. Because He is all. And that is the greatest source of comfort.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
What Do We Do Now?
My mind is just racing right now, and I just need to get these thoughts written down so that they can start to make sense. I hope it does make sense when I am finished.
Many of you have read my blog about our upcoming move to the Kansas City area and David's new job (see the September 14th entry). He actually began this new job a few weeks ago and has been commuting - going down to KC to work for a few days and then coming back here to Des Moines for ministry events and to help with the packing. While the miles have been racking up on the van, it seemed like the perfect vehicle for us and for our ministry. It provided all of the room we needed, and it was running well. It was also coming in very handy for David to bring a load of packed items with him each time he went down, to lessen the amount that would have to be packed in the moving van.
Yesterday, David worked a full day and was to drive home in the evening so that he could get a good night's rest and then help to get packed up for a ministry event scheduled for this evening in Norfolk, Nebraska. I was expecting him to arrive home somewhere around 10:00 PM. Approximately 9:45, he called sounding very frantic. "I hit a deer! I hit a deer!" While he hadn't yet checked the damage, David said that he already knew it was bad because the airbags had deployed and the engine had died. He said he was able to get the van to the side of the road and let me know he was about 30 miles down the interstate from West Des Moines. He also let me know that he was not hurt - at least, he was not able to identify any injury at that point.
I called my brother who came to pick me up, and we drove down to meet David at the Kum and Go at the New Virginia exit where the van was towed (thanks again to the state trooper and towing guys who showed up so quickly to help him!). The damage to the front end of the van was indeed substantial. It would most likely cost us more to repair the van than what we paid for it. How one animal could do so much damage is just crazy. The towing guys said that they saw the deer by the side of the road - it was a doe and it had been killed by the impact.
While still quite shaken, David wasn't showing any indication of injury, for which I praise God. He was going about 75 when the deer jumped out of the median right in front of the van. David said he didn't even have time to react by swerving or hitting his brakes.
My brother has graciously loaned us one of his cars to use for a couple of days while we figure out what we are going to do.
So, what do we do now?
We were able to pay cash for that van...and it took every spare cent that we had available to us. We do still have the money set aside for our India missions trip, but every fiber in my body rebels against using that money for anything other than the purpose for which it was given to us - to be able to go to India. If we were to "borrow" against that account, my concern is that we won't be able to repay it in time for us to go.
With all my heart I am so thankful that David wasn't hurt. I'm so thankful that he was in the van when he hit the deer and not in the car we used to have. The outcome certainly would have been so much worse. I am so thankful that God gave us that van to use for a season - as short as it was.
It's hard to imagine what God has in store for us. It's hard to imagine where the money is going to come from to purchase a new van. It's hard to imagine how it will be possible to find another van like this one that just seemed to meet our needs so well. I had initially written that I am struggling with the "how" and "why" of this situation, and I had to erase that. I don't think that struggling is the correct word. Yes, of course, those questions are in my mind. For whom would they not be? But from the moment David first called me just seconds after he had hit the deer, I have felt a odd sense of peace and confidence - especially in what God is going to do in this situation. It makes no sense whatsoever because we are really in a pickle right now, but God is gently reminding me to remember what He's done for us in the past - how He has provided unexpectedly. He's telling me not to worry - He will provide.
It is going to be hard to be patient during this process. We had to cancel our program in Nebraska this evening because we do not have the transportation to get us and our equipment there. (This is the first time we've had to cancel a program. The disappointment on both sides is great.) David needs transportation to be able to get back down to KC to work on Friday and Saturday. Plus we are moving next week. Of all the times to have an accident and be without a vehicle, this was definitely not one of them. It's going to be hard to be patient.
But if our faith is in Jehovah Jirah (God, our Provider), then we will be patient, and we will trust in His provision.
Writing this all down has helped me to again regain my focus. It's so easy to focus on what is lost, rather that what is saved or gained. I praise God once again for keeping David safe. Vans can be replaced - loved ones cannot. God will provide what we need when we need it. We just have to be patient.
Your prayers on our behalf are greatly appreciated. Please pray for patience and for God's swift provision. I look forward to a future blog entry that will share the experience on what God has done.
Many of you have read my blog about our upcoming move to the Kansas City area and David's new job (see the September 14th entry). He actually began this new job a few weeks ago and has been commuting - going down to KC to work for a few days and then coming back here to Des Moines for ministry events and to help with the packing. While the miles have been racking up on the van, it seemed like the perfect vehicle for us and for our ministry. It provided all of the room we needed, and it was running well. It was also coming in very handy for David to bring a load of packed items with him each time he went down, to lessen the amount that would have to be packed in the moving van.
Yesterday, David worked a full day and was to drive home in the evening so that he could get a good night's rest and then help to get packed up for a ministry event scheduled for this evening in Norfolk, Nebraska. I was expecting him to arrive home somewhere around 10:00 PM. Approximately 9:45, he called sounding very frantic. "I hit a deer! I hit a deer!" While he hadn't yet checked the damage, David said that he already knew it was bad because the airbags had deployed and the engine had died. He said he was able to get the van to the side of the road and let me know he was about 30 miles down the interstate from West Des Moines. He also let me know that he was not hurt - at least, he was not able to identify any injury at that point.
I called my brother who came to pick me up, and we drove down to meet David at the Kum and Go at the New Virginia exit where the van was towed (thanks again to the state trooper and towing guys who showed up so quickly to help him!). The damage to the front end of the van was indeed substantial. It would most likely cost us more to repair the van than what we paid for it. How one animal could do so much damage is just crazy. The towing guys said that they saw the deer by the side of the road - it was a doe and it had been killed by the impact.
While still quite shaken, David wasn't showing any indication of injury, for which I praise God. He was going about 75 when the deer jumped out of the median right in front of the van. David said he didn't even have time to react by swerving or hitting his brakes.
My brother has graciously loaned us one of his cars to use for a couple of days while we figure out what we are going to do.
So, what do we do now?
We were able to pay cash for that van...and it took every spare cent that we had available to us. We do still have the money set aside for our India missions trip, but every fiber in my body rebels against using that money for anything other than the purpose for which it was given to us - to be able to go to India. If we were to "borrow" against that account, my concern is that we won't be able to repay it in time for us to go.
With all my heart I am so thankful that David wasn't hurt. I'm so thankful that he was in the van when he hit the deer and not in the car we used to have. The outcome certainly would have been so much worse. I am so thankful that God gave us that van to use for a season - as short as it was.
It's hard to imagine what God has in store for us. It's hard to imagine where the money is going to come from to purchase a new van. It's hard to imagine how it will be possible to find another van like this one that just seemed to meet our needs so well. I had initially written that I am struggling with the "how" and "why" of this situation, and I had to erase that. I don't think that struggling is the correct word. Yes, of course, those questions are in my mind. For whom would they not be? But from the moment David first called me just seconds after he had hit the deer, I have felt a odd sense of peace and confidence - especially in what God is going to do in this situation. It makes no sense whatsoever because we are really in a pickle right now, but God is gently reminding me to remember what He's done for us in the past - how He has provided unexpectedly. He's telling me not to worry - He will provide.
It is going to be hard to be patient during this process. We had to cancel our program in Nebraska this evening because we do not have the transportation to get us and our equipment there. (This is the first time we've had to cancel a program. The disappointment on both sides is great.) David needs transportation to be able to get back down to KC to work on Friday and Saturday. Plus we are moving next week. Of all the times to have an accident and be without a vehicle, this was definitely not one of them. It's going to be hard to be patient.
But if our faith is in Jehovah Jirah (God, our Provider), then we will be patient, and we will trust in His provision.
Writing this all down has helped me to again regain my focus. It's so easy to focus on what is lost, rather that what is saved or gained. I praise God once again for keeping David safe. Vans can be replaced - loved ones cannot. God will provide what we need when we need it. We just have to be patient.
Your prayers on our behalf are greatly appreciated. Please pray for patience and for God's swift provision. I look forward to a future blog entry that will share the experience on what God has done.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Where is Home Really?
Having been a Christian for many, many years, I've been secure in the knowledge that when I die I will go to heaven to be with God for eternity. In John 14:1-3, Jesus promises that He is going to prepare a place for us (those who believe in Him), that where He is, we can be also. When my father passed away a couple of years ago, it was a great comfort to know that he was with Christ in Paradise immediately after his final breath.
It's not been until the past several years that I've really given much thought to actually leaving this earth and going to heaven. But with the world seemingly beginning to spin out of control, sometimes it feels as though it would be so much better and easier if we could just pass over the "rough stuff" and fast forward into eternity. Not with suicidal intention, but I found my heart beginning to long for heaven -- to look forward to the day when I could experience the fulfillment of the hope that is within me - the same hope that is now reality for my dad.
I have also come to realize, however, that life on this earth is truly a gift from God. Every new baby that voices its first cry is a precious creation of God's hand, and each of us has been brought to this earth for a specific purpose. Eternity is going to be a long time. I want to appreciate the life that I have here on earth now, because it is all too soon going to be past.
Yes, it would be nice not to have to deal with the ugliness of this world, to see the freedoms in our country slowly begin to erode, to know that our liberty to live out our relationship with Jesus Christ will soon be stiffled (as it already is in so many other countries). But God's plan for us is perfect. We don't need to fear the future because we know Who holds the future. There may come a day for us when it will be difficult - if not dangerous - to profess a faith in Jesus Christ. But what glory to be able to share in His sufferings. There are so many who have suffered, some to the point of martyrdom, for Jesus Christ in the past and are suffering now in the present.
But there are still so many opportunities in which to tell others about the love of God and the salvation offered through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Every day I am alive is another day of opportunity to share my faith with someone else. Right now those opportunities are not that frequent, but it is my prayer that those opportunities will increase in the coming days.
As long as God has me on this earth, I want to serve Him. I want to be His missionary (or "magissionary" as David and I call ourselves). That way when I stand before Him in heaven, I won't be ashamed to have to explain missed opportunities or failures to act when He has opened the door. I look forward to hearing Him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."
This morning I read this story in the devotional book...and I thought it was very poignant:
**************
The story is told of Theodore Roosevelt boarding ship at an African port as he was to return from a hunting safari. Great crowds gathered to celebrate his visit. The red carpet was rolled out for him. He was given the best suite on board the ship. He was the center of attention during the sail home.
At the same time, there was another man on board ship. He was an old missionary who had given his life for God in Africa. His wife had died, his children gone, he was now alone. No one noticed him. At the ship's arrival in San Francisco, the President was again feted. The whistles blew, the bells rang, the crowds cheered as Roosevelt disembarked in pomp and glory. But there was no one there to meet the missionary.
He went to a small hotel room, and that night as he knelt beside his bed he prayed, "I'm not complaining, Lord. But I just don't understand. I gave my life for You in Africa and it seems that no one cares. I just don't understand."
And then it seemed in that moment the Lord reached down His hand from heaven and placing it on the hold' man's shoulder, said, "Missionary, you're not home yet."
*****************
It is my prayer that you are filled with the hope - and assurance - of a home in heaven for eternity with God. I also pray that while you are here on earth, you serve Him with all your heart, mind, and body. May we all look forward to that day when the fanfare rings out -- when we are finally Home!!
It's not been until the past several years that I've really given much thought to actually leaving this earth and going to heaven. But with the world seemingly beginning to spin out of control, sometimes it feels as though it would be so much better and easier if we could just pass over the "rough stuff" and fast forward into eternity. Not with suicidal intention, but I found my heart beginning to long for heaven -- to look forward to the day when I could experience the fulfillment of the hope that is within me - the same hope that is now reality for my dad.
I have also come to realize, however, that life on this earth is truly a gift from God. Every new baby that voices its first cry is a precious creation of God's hand, and each of us has been brought to this earth for a specific purpose. Eternity is going to be a long time. I want to appreciate the life that I have here on earth now, because it is all too soon going to be past.
Yes, it would be nice not to have to deal with the ugliness of this world, to see the freedoms in our country slowly begin to erode, to know that our liberty to live out our relationship with Jesus Christ will soon be stiffled (as it already is in so many other countries). But God's plan for us is perfect. We don't need to fear the future because we know Who holds the future. There may come a day for us when it will be difficult - if not dangerous - to profess a faith in Jesus Christ. But what glory to be able to share in His sufferings. There are so many who have suffered, some to the point of martyrdom, for Jesus Christ in the past and are suffering now in the present.
But there are still so many opportunities in which to tell others about the love of God and the salvation offered through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Every day I am alive is another day of opportunity to share my faith with someone else. Right now those opportunities are not that frequent, but it is my prayer that those opportunities will increase in the coming days.
As long as God has me on this earth, I want to serve Him. I want to be His missionary (or "magissionary" as David and I call ourselves). That way when I stand before Him in heaven, I won't be ashamed to have to explain missed opportunities or failures to act when He has opened the door. I look forward to hearing Him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."
This morning I read this story in the devotional book...and I thought it was very poignant:
**************
The story is told of Theodore Roosevelt boarding ship at an African port as he was to return from a hunting safari. Great crowds gathered to celebrate his visit. The red carpet was rolled out for him. He was given the best suite on board the ship. He was the center of attention during the sail home.
At the same time, there was another man on board ship. He was an old missionary who had given his life for God in Africa. His wife had died, his children gone, he was now alone. No one noticed him. At the ship's arrival in San Francisco, the President was again feted. The whistles blew, the bells rang, the crowds cheered as Roosevelt disembarked in pomp and glory. But there was no one there to meet the missionary.
He went to a small hotel room, and that night as he knelt beside his bed he prayed, "I'm not complaining, Lord. But I just don't understand. I gave my life for You in Africa and it seems that no one cares. I just don't understand."
And then it seemed in that moment the Lord reached down His hand from heaven and placing it on the hold' man's shoulder, said, "Missionary, you're not home yet."
*****************
It is my prayer that you are filled with the hope - and assurance - of a home in heaven for eternity with God. I also pray that while you are here on earth, you serve Him with all your heart, mind, and body. May we all look forward to that day when the fanfare rings out -- when we are finally Home!!
Monday, September 21, 2009
A Dangerous Prayer
I prayed a dangerous prayer this morning. I prayed that God would give me more opportunities to share my faith with others. Sometimes I feel very protected within my home, within my family, within my ministry...I do not feel as though I have been greatly challenged to "give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have" (I Peter 3:15). I don't often find myself in situations where people ask me questions about my faith, where I have the chance to clearly profess who it is I believe in and why I believe in him.
And I want to have those opportunities.
Over the past several years, I have seen God take me on an incredible journey of discovery. He has taken me through mountains and valleys, he has taught me so much about Himself and about myself. And about us together. I know that there is so much more to be learned and discovered - I've only just scratched the surface of the iceburg!
But I'm beginning to feel like the Dead Sea (located in the Middle East)... which takes in the fresh water but has no outlet for the water to flow back out. The water there is stagnant. Nothing can live or grow -- which is how it got its name.
I need to have an outlet for all that God has shown and taught me. I want to be able to share God's love with others -- to tell them that they too can be reconciled with a holy and righteous God, that he can lead them through this life with peace, joy and hope. I want to share that Jesus Christ became the one and only sacrifice necessary for that reconciliation, and through his death and resurrection, we can be saved.
I know that there are many who would hear and not respond, but I also know that there are many who are seeking answers, searching for direction and purpose in their lives. There are many who are seeking for their answers in the wrong places -- wrong religions, wrong doctrines, wrong direction. They need Jesus. We all need Jesus.
So, that was my prayer this morning. God, please take me out of my own little comfort zone, my own little cocoon of security, and put me in a place where the rubber can meet the road. Put me in a place where my faith in you can be proclaimed. There are so many Christians in other countries who are literally putting their lives on the line to share their love of Jesus Christ. They are sacrificing so much just to say that they are Christian. May I never take my standing with God for granted.
It's a dangerous prayer, because I know God will answer it. I will have to speak up for Jesus. I will have to let others know where I stand in God's grace. It may cost me a little, it may cost me much, but whatever there is to lose here on earth is to be gained richly in heaven. To God be the glory.
Psalm 146 (New Living Translation)
1 Praise the LORD!
Let all that I am praise the LORD.
2 I will praise the LORD as long as I live.
I will sing praises to my God with my dying breath.
3 Don't put your confidence in powerful people;
there is no help for you there.
4 When they breathe their last, they return to the earth,
and all their plans die with them.
5 But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper,
whose hope is in the LORD their God.
6 He made heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them.
He keeps every promise forever.
7 He gives justice to the oppressed and food to the hungry.
The LORD frees the prisoners.
8 The LORD opens the eyes of the blind.
The LORD lifts up those who are weighed down.
The LORD loves the godly.
9 The LORD protects the foreigners among us.
He cares for the orphans and widows,
but he frustrates the plans of the wicked.
10 The LORD will reign forever.
He will be your God, O Jerusalem, throughout the generations.
Praise the LORD!
And I want to have those opportunities.
Over the past several years, I have seen God take me on an incredible journey of discovery. He has taken me through mountains and valleys, he has taught me so much about Himself and about myself. And about us together. I know that there is so much more to be learned and discovered - I've only just scratched the surface of the iceburg!
But I'm beginning to feel like the Dead Sea (located in the Middle East)... which takes in the fresh water but has no outlet for the water to flow back out. The water there is stagnant. Nothing can live or grow -- which is how it got its name.
I need to have an outlet for all that God has shown and taught me. I want to be able to share God's love with others -- to tell them that they too can be reconciled with a holy and righteous God, that he can lead them through this life with peace, joy and hope. I want to share that Jesus Christ became the one and only sacrifice necessary for that reconciliation, and through his death and resurrection, we can be saved.
I know that there are many who would hear and not respond, but I also know that there are many who are seeking answers, searching for direction and purpose in their lives. There are many who are seeking for their answers in the wrong places -- wrong religions, wrong doctrines, wrong direction. They need Jesus. We all need Jesus.
So, that was my prayer this morning. God, please take me out of my own little comfort zone, my own little cocoon of security, and put me in a place where the rubber can meet the road. Put me in a place where my faith in you can be proclaimed. There are so many Christians in other countries who are literally putting their lives on the line to share their love of Jesus Christ. They are sacrificing so much just to say that they are Christian. May I never take my standing with God for granted.
It's a dangerous prayer, because I know God will answer it. I will have to speak up for Jesus. I will have to let others know where I stand in God's grace. It may cost me a little, it may cost me much, but whatever there is to lose here on earth is to be gained richly in heaven. To God be the glory.
Psalm 146 (New Living Translation)
1 Praise the LORD!
Let all that I am praise the LORD.
2 I will praise the LORD as long as I live.
I will sing praises to my God with my dying breath.
3 Don't put your confidence in powerful people;
there is no help for you there.
4 When they breathe their last, they return to the earth,
and all their plans die with them.
5 But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper,
whose hope is in the LORD their God.
6 He made heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them.
He keeps every promise forever.
7 He gives justice to the oppressed and food to the hungry.
The LORD frees the prisoners.
8 The LORD opens the eyes of the blind.
The LORD lifts up those who are weighed down.
The LORD loves the godly.
9 The LORD protects the foreigners among us.
He cares for the orphans and widows,
but he frustrates the plans of the wicked.
10 The LORD will reign forever.
He will be your God, O Jerusalem, throughout the generations.
Praise the LORD!
Monday, September 14, 2009
It's Amazing How Quickly Life Can Be Re-arranged
Proverbs 16:9 says, "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps."
It was almost two years ago that David and I made the decision to take our ministry full time. It was a huge step to take. But as we grew to rely more and more upon God and His provision for our NEEDS (not necessarily our wants), the foundation of our faith has grown stronger and stronger. We could fill pages describing the times that God came through with His provision at the last minute. David sometimes kids that if there weren't that 60th minute in an hour, we'd never hear from God!
While we know that God has indeed called us to this ministry, and we still have a roof over our head, a vehicle to travel in, and food to eat, it has been a huge burden financially to make ends meet. We continue to see God reach people through our ministry, and it is our faithful desire to continue to serve Him until He calls us home, either through death or by catching us up in the Rapture.
We've constantly sought ways over the past two years to decrease our financial obligations and live as frugally as possible, and I think we've done a pretty good job in cutting expenses, but despite our strongest efforts to increase our monthly income, we've continue to fall behind.
We made the decision to sell our house based upon several factors, some of those being - 1) Finding someplace to rent for significantly less than what we pay in our mortgage would help us cut even more expense, and 2) Putting ourselves in a position of becoming more "mobile" - freer to pick up and go where God wants us to go.
We've gotten rid of our car and replaced it with a used van, eliminating a monthly car payment.
And we've made the decision to move to the Kansas City area where we can be more "centralized" for our ministry, being able to reach much of Missouri, Kansas and Iowa within a three to four hour drive. This location will also allow us the ability to present ministry events at more than twice as many Awana clubs (the mainstay for our ministry) than where we are now, not to mention more churches and Christian schools.
Several weeks ago, we were down in Kansas City to teach some creative ministry workshops at an Awana Leadership Conference. We went down a day early just to look around the area and see if this was truly where God was leading us. We decided to go and visit a church that David had once attended in Raytown (a suburb) many years ago, and so we headed down that way. As we were driving along in a residential area near the church, I happened to look to my right and I saw a house down a side street with a "For Rent" sign. David turned around and we drove up to the house to take a look. A ranch style house with a two car garage in a nice quiet neighborhood looked rather appealing.
David called the number on the For Rent sign. I was able to hear both sides of the conversation as David began explaining to the woman on the other end of the line (Barbara) who we were and that we were interested in renting their house. As the conversation progressed, we found out that this couple was Christian and attended the church that we were going to look at (charter members in fact!). I heard Barbara tell David that she and her husband had just been praying the evening before that God would lead a Christian couple to that house to rent it. When I heard this, my heart just lept! I hadn't told David this yet, but on our drive down to KC that morning, I had quietly been praying in my heart that if God wanted us to move down to the KC area, that He would lead us to a house, that it would be owned by Christians, and, wouldn't it be such a neat thing if we could be the answer to their prayer. God is so cool in the way He answers prayer.
So we arranged with Barbara and Jerry to see the house later that afternoon. After spending the afternoon exploring the area, we met with them at the house and they showed it to us. It seemed like it would work, price was right, and timing for availability was right.
The folks we met the next day at the Awana Conference from various churches in Kansas and Missouri were all extremely positive about our potentially moving down to the area. As a matter of fact, the Awana missionary for that area said that he already had a place for us on his ministry team if we moved down. After a couple of days of praying and talking about it, we let Barbara and Jerry know that we wanted to rent their house, and the final decision was made that we would move down to Raytown on November 1st.
This past weekend, we were to drive to Newton, Kansas, for another Awana Conference, so to break up the trip, we went as far as Kansas City again a day early. During our previous trip (as with most of our trips to Kansas City), we stopped at U.S. Toy Company which has a large magic shop in the back. David once worked there for a few weeks many, many years ago, so he knew one of the owners who was still there. Just on a whim, David asked Phillip if there were any part time positions available in the magic shop. Phillip told him no, but they were looking for a full time manager for both the magic shop and the adjoining costume shop. Initially, David didn't give it much thought because we were still not considering full time employment to be an option for us. But just for "grins and giggles," he did go online and fill out an employment application.
He received a phone call early last week from the HR director and was asked if he'd be willing to be interviewed for the position. Because we were heading back down that direction, David said that he would be available on Thursday to come in for an interview. The day after the interview, David was offered the full-time salaried managerial position for the magic/costume division, with full benefits and enough flexibility that will allow us to continue to book our ministry events on Sundays and Wednesdays (which is when most of the Awana clubs take place anyway). They will also allow David the time off necessary for our missions trip to India in January. This job seems like a "natural" for David. He has the experience to manage the inventory and employees, plus he has the love and talent for magic to be able to demonstrate the products for customers.
Initially, I struggled with the decision of David taking on a full time job because I thought it was telling God that we didn't trust Him any more for our provision. However, I'm coming to see this as a way of God providing for us and still allowing us to continue effectively serving Him. As a matter of fact, in looking at most of our contemporaries who are doing what we do, at least one spouse has a full-time job or other source of steady income. I'm reminded on the story of the man sitting on the roof of his house in the midst of a massive flood believing that God was going to save him. To shorten the story, after rejecting two boats and a helicopter attempting to rescue him, he dies and goes to heaven. "Why didn't you save me?" the man cried to God. "I tried," God said. "Didn't you see the two boats and the helicopter I sent?" I guess I now see this job opportunity for David as one of those vehicles that God has sent to us to help us in our ministry. He may chose to send another type of "vehicle" again down the road.
We will still be able to maintain our ministry, but with the financial pressure being taken off, we will be in a position to run our ministry more for ministry sake than for having to make this payment or that payment.
As for what I'll be doing when David is working at the magic shop??? I think I'm going to be busier than ever! I am still planning on doing preschool shows by myself during the day, and I've developed a whole new character for those performances - her name is "Miss Trixie Pockets." I've got several different show ideas in mind, and with the experience David and I have had doing the preschool shows together this year, I know that I'll be able to put something together that the kids and teachers will enjoy.
I will be working on writing - I have three very distinct outlines for books in mind already. I also want to continue developing opportunities for speaking to women's groups, as well.
Seeing how God directed us to a new home and a new job, we are looking forward to Him directing us to our new church home. It is going to be difficult to leave Olivet. We've developed some very special relationships with our church family, and our ministry was "birthed" (commissioned) there. We've received such incredible support, both through prayerfully and financially, from our church family over the past several years. But the goodbye will not be forever. After we return from our missions trip to India, we plan on making arrangements with Olivet to be able to make a presentation to our church family. We want to be able to share with those who have supported us in this endeavor what God was able to do in us and through us. We are so looking forward to that.
We will also miss being so close to my family here in the Des Moines area. It's been such a blessing to have been able to be a part of their lives in such a close way for the past seven years. And we will definitely miss being a part of the regular Saturday morning breakfasts. But we know we will be returning on a fairly regular basis for ministry events and other performances, as well as special family events. It's really not that long of a drive between here and Kansas City.
So that, dear family and friends, is what is happening in our lives these days. Sometimes it is hard keeping all of the details straight. I know that I have not been sleeping well over the past couple of nights just because my mind won't slow down with all of the planning and organizing that needs to be done. But we are excited about the fact that God is in this. These kinds of "coincidences" cannot be random happenings.
So, if you are so inclinded to pray for us, here are our specific prayer requests...
1) David begins his job next week, and so he will be commuting between KC and here for a couple of weeks (coming back on weekends and for performance events). Pray for travel safety for him as he goes back and forth and for the van to stay in good running condition.
2) Our move date has been changed from November 1st to October 15th because of David beginning his new job. There's much to be done in the next few weeks to be ready for this move. Pray that the details would come together to make this move as smooth as possible.
3) With this new job, we will be able to save up the rest of the financing we need for our trip to India. We are so thankful that David's new bosses are allowing him the time off (of course, this was non-negotiable, but we appreciate their cooperation all the same). Once we get moved, we will start the process for our visas. Pray that this will go without any hitches.
4) Pray for us as we seek a new church home. This is such an important step. We want to go where we can be used of God and where we can be drawn closer to God.
If you made it to the bottom of this loooong post, THANK YOU! We appreciate you and love you as dear friends and family.
It was almost two years ago that David and I made the decision to take our ministry full time. It was a huge step to take. But as we grew to rely more and more upon God and His provision for our NEEDS (not necessarily our wants), the foundation of our faith has grown stronger and stronger. We could fill pages describing the times that God came through with His provision at the last minute. David sometimes kids that if there weren't that 60th minute in an hour, we'd never hear from God!
While we know that God has indeed called us to this ministry, and we still have a roof over our head, a vehicle to travel in, and food to eat, it has been a huge burden financially to make ends meet. We continue to see God reach people through our ministry, and it is our faithful desire to continue to serve Him until He calls us home, either through death or by catching us up in the Rapture.
We've constantly sought ways over the past two years to decrease our financial obligations and live as frugally as possible, and I think we've done a pretty good job in cutting expenses, but despite our strongest efforts to increase our monthly income, we've continue to fall behind.
We made the decision to sell our house based upon several factors, some of those being - 1) Finding someplace to rent for significantly less than what we pay in our mortgage would help us cut even more expense, and 2) Putting ourselves in a position of becoming more "mobile" - freer to pick up and go where God wants us to go.
We've gotten rid of our car and replaced it with a used van, eliminating a monthly car payment.
And we've made the decision to move to the Kansas City area where we can be more "centralized" for our ministry, being able to reach much of Missouri, Kansas and Iowa within a three to four hour drive. This location will also allow us the ability to present ministry events at more than twice as many Awana clubs (the mainstay for our ministry) than where we are now, not to mention more churches and Christian schools.
Several weeks ago, we were down in Kansas City to teach some creative ministry workshops at an Awana Leadership Conference. We went down a day early just to look around the area and see if this was truly where God was leading us. We decided to go and visit a church that David had once attended in Raytown (a suburb) many years ago, and so we headed down that way. As we were driving along in a residential area near the church, I happened to look to my right and I saw a house down a side street with a "For Rent" sign. David turned around and we drove up to the house to take a look. A ranch style house with a two car garage in a nice quiet neighborhood looked rather appealing.
David called the number on the For Rent sign. I was able to hear both sides of the conversation as David began explaining to the woman on the other end of the line (Barbara) who we were and that we were interested in renting their house. As the conversation progressed, we found out that this couple was Christian and attended the church that we were going to look at (charter members in fact!). I heard Barbara tell David that she and her husband had just been praying the evening before that God would lead a Christian couple to that house to rent it. When I heard this, my heart just lept! I hadn't told David this yet, but on our drive down to KC that morning, I had quietly been praying in my heart that if God wanted us to move down to the KC area, that He would lead us to a house, that it would be owned by Christians, and, wouldn't it be such a neat thing if we could be the answer to their prayer. God is so cool in the way He answers prayer.
So we arranged with Barbara and Jerry to see the house later that afternoon. After spending the afternoon exploring the area, we met with them at the house and they showed it to us. It seemed like it would work, price was right, and timing for availability was right.
The folks we met the next day at the Awana Conference from various churches in Kansas and Missouri were all extremely positive about our potentially moving down to the area. As a matter of fact, the Awana missionary for that area said that he already had a place for us on his ministry team if we moved down. After a couple of days of praying and talking about it, we let Barbara and Jerry know that we wanted to rent their house, and the final decision was made that we would move down to Raytown on November 1st.
This past weekend, we were to drive to Newton, Kansas, for another Awana Conference, so to break up the trip, we went as far as Kansas City again a day early. During our previous trip (as with most of our trips to Kansas City), we stopped at U.S. Toy Company which has a large magic shop in the back. David once worked there for a few weeks many, many years ago, so he knew one of the owners who was still there. Just on a whim, David asked Phillip if there were any part time positions available in the magic shop. Phillip told him no, but they were looking for a full time manager for both the magic shop and the adjoining costume shop. Initially, David didn't give it much thought because we were still not considering full time employment to be an option for us. But just for "grins and giggles," he did go online and fill out an employment application.
He received a phone call early last week from the HR director and was asked if he'd be willing to be interviewed for the position. Because we were heading back down that direction, David said that he would be available on Thursday to come in for an interview. The day after the interview, David was offered the full-time salaried managerial position for the magic/costume division, with full benefits and enough flexibility that will allow us to continue to book our ministry events on Sundays and Wednesdays (which is when most of the Awana clubs take place anyway). They will also allow David the time off necessary for our missions trip to India in January. This job seems like a "natural" for David. He has the experience to manage the inventory and employees, plus he has the love and talent for magic to be able to demonstrate the products for customers.
Initially, I struggled with the decision of David taking on a full time job because I thought it was telling God that we didn't trust Him any more for our provision. However, I'm coming to see this as a way of God providing for us and still allowing us to continue effectively serving Him. As a matter of fact, in looking at most of our contemporaries who are doing what we do, at least one spouse has a full-time job or other source of steady income. I'm reminded on the story of the man sitting on the roof of his house in the midst of a massive flood believing that God was going to save him. To shorten the story, after rejecting two boats and a helicopter attempting to rescue him, he dies and goes to heaven. "Why didn't you save me?" the man cried to God. "I tried," God said. "Didn't you see the two boats and the helicopter I sent?" I guess I now see this job opportunity for David as one of those vehicles that God has sent to us to help us in our ministry. He may chose to send another type of "vehicle" again down the road.
We will still be able to maintain our ministry, but with the financial pressure being taken off, we will be in a position to run our ministry more for ministry sake than for having to make this payment or that payment.
As for what I'll be doing when David is working at the magic shop??? I think I'm going to be busier than ever! I am still planning on doing preschool shows by myself during the day, and I've developed a whole new character for those performances - her name is "Miss Trixie Pockets." I've got several different show ideas in mind, and with the experience David and I have had doing the preschool shows together this year, I know that I'll be able to put something together that the kids and teachers will enjoy.
I will be working on writing - I have three very distinct outlines for books in mind already. I also want to continue developing opportunities for speaking to women's groups, as well.
Seeing how God directed us to a new home and a new job, we are looking forward to Him directing us to our new church home. It is going to be difficult to leave Olivet. We've developed some very special relationships with our church family, and our ministry was "birthed" (commissioned) there. We've received such incredible support, both through prayerfully and financially, from our church family over the past several years. But the goodbye will not be forever. After we return from our missions trip to India, we plan on making arrangements with Olivet to be able to make a presentation to our church family. We want to be able to share with those who have supported us in this endeavor what God was able to do in us and through us. We are so looking forward to that.
We will also miss being so close to my family here in the Des Moines area. It's been such a blessing to have been able to be a part of their lives in such a close way for the past seven years. And we will definitely miss being a part of the regular Saturday morning breakfasts. But we know we will be returning on a fairly regular basis for ministry events and other performances, as well as special family events. It's really not that long of a drive between here and Kansas City.
So that, dear family and friends, is what is happening in our lives these days. Sometimes it is hard keeping all of the details straight. I know that I have not been sleeping well over the past couple of nights just because my mind won't slow down with all of the planning and organizing that needs to be done. But we are excited about the fact that God is in this. These kinds of "coincidences" cannot be random happenings.
So, if you are so inclinded to pray for us, here are our specific prayer requests...
1) David begins his job next week, and so he will be commuting between KC and here for a couple of weeks (coming back on weekends and for performance events). Pray for travel safety for him as he goes back and forth and for the van to stay in good running condition.
2) Our move date has been changed from November 1st to October 15th because of David beginning his new job. There's much to be done in the next few weeks to be ready for this move. Pray that the details would come together to make this move as smooth as possible.
3) With this new job, we will be able to save up the rest of the financing we need for our trip to India. We are so thankful that David's new bosses are allowing him the time off (of course, this was non-negotiable, but we appreciate their cooperation all the same). Once we get moved, we will start the process for our visas. Pray that this will go without any hitches.
4) Pray for us as we seek a new church home. This is such an important step. We want to go where we can be used of God and where we can be drawn closer to God.
If you made it to the bottom of this loooong post, THANK YOU! We appreciate you and love you as dear friends and family.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
The Ultimate Sacrifice
Some time ago, my husband and I heard a story (we've been told that it is a true story) that tore at our hearts and really made the image of God's sacrifice of His Son very vivid to us. The story went something like this...
There once was a bridge operator who had a young son whom he dearly loved. They were inseparable. The young boy often asked to go with his father to watch him work - to watch him raise and lower the draw bridge, allowing the boats to pass under or the passenger trains to cross over. One day the father relented and allowed his son to come with him.
"Stay here at a safe distance," the father warned the boy, "while I go and raise the bridge for the coming boat." The boy stayed where his father had left him and watched the bridge as it slowly lifted up in the sky. Suddenly, the boy heard the faint cry of an approaching passenger train - coming quite a bit sooner than had been expected. The father, up in the control room, could hear neither the whistle of the train nor the warning cry of his son.
The boy saw the train racing closer and closer, and he started to run along the platform to reach his father. Knowing there was a lever he could pull near the operating gears of the bridge, the boy ran to the door in the platform and tried to lower himself down to reach the lever. Losing his balance, he fell in to where the gears came together and was caught.
At the same time the father saw his son fall down into the hole in the platform, he saw the fast approaching train. In horror, he realized that if he didn't start lowering the bridge immediately, it would not be down in time for the train to pass safely. The train would crash into the river below killing hundreds of innocent people.
The man was faced with an unimaginable dilemma - race to save his son at the cost of hundreds of lives, or sacrifice his son to save the passengers on the train.
He made the only choice he could and pulled the lever to lower the bridge. In spite of the noise of the descending bridge and the oncoming train, he still heard the anguished screams of his beloved son being crushed to death between the gears of the bridge.
The father ran to the platform as the train was passing by. Most people on the train simply ignored the man crying on the platform. Others looked out of the window and stared, totally oblivious of the unspeakable sacrifice that had just been made on their behalf. They gave no other thought or concern to this man who had just given up what was most precious to him so that they could live.
Do you see the parallel? Can you understand the picture this story paints?
The sacrifice of One offers life to all. God did not take pleasure in watching His Son die. It had to have been agonizing for God to stand by as Jesus died covered in the intense darkness of all of our sins. There was no choice...it had to happen. The sacrifice had to be made in order for us to be able to live.
And like those people on the train, we have the choice regarding what we will do with that sacrifice. We can choose to ignore it - to ignore God - not even bothering consider what God did on our behalf. We can choose to look at God briefly - to glance in passing - and then continue on with our own priorities and plans. Or we can acknowledge what it was that God sacrificed to give us life. We can embrace it and accept it on our behalf, and choose to live our lives for God.
Where are you on that train? Can you see the anguish in the Father's eyes as you pass by? Do you know that He offered His greatest sacrifice so that you could live? Will you accept it? Will you choose to give your life to Him because of what He gave for you?
There is a short movie that was made in 2003 called "Most," which means "the bridge" in Czech. It depicts this story so vividly. I'm attaching a link to a brief video that someone made for his church using clips from this movie... http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=13a4a045cd290bc2ae2d&sp=1.
You can also learn more about the full length movie (which is only about 33 minutes) at this site... http://www.mostthemovie.com/.
This story and the video moved me. I hope it moves you as well.
There once was a bridge operator who had a young son whom he dearly loved. They were inseparable. The young boy often asked to go with his father to watch him work - to watch him raise and lower the draw bridge, allowing the boats to pass under or the passenger trains to cross over. One day the father relented and allowed his son to come with him.
"Stay here at a safe distance," the father warned the boy, "while I go and raise the bridge for the coming boat." The boy stayed where his father had left him and watched the bridge as it slowly lifted up in the sky. Suddenly, the boy heard the faint cry of an approaching passenger train - coming quite a bit sooner than had been expected. The father, up in the control room, could hear neither the whistle of the train nor the warning cry of his son.
The boy saw the train racing closer and closer, and he started to run along the platform to reach his father. Knowing there was a lever he could pull near the operating gears of the bridge, the boy ran to the door in the platform and tried to lower himself down to reach the lever. Losing his balance, he fell in to where the gears came together and was caught.
At the same time the father saw his son fall down into the hole in the platform, he saw the fast approaching train. In horror, he realized that if he didn't start lowering the bridge immediately, it would not be down in time for the train to pass safely. The train would crash into the river below killing hundreds of innocent people.
The man was faced with an unimaginable dilemma - race to save his son at the cost of hundreds of lives, or sacrifice his son to save the passengers on the train.
He made the only choice he could and pulled the lever to lower the bridge. In spite of the noise of the descending bridge and the oncoming train, he still heard the anguished screams of his beloved son being crushed to death between the gears of the bridge.
The father ran to the platform as the train was passing by. Most people on the train simply ignored the man crying on the platform. Others looked out of the window and stared, totally oblivious of the unspeakable sacrifice that had just been made on their behalf. They gave no other thought or concern to this man who had just given up what was most precious to him so that they could live.
Do you see the parallel? Can you understand the picture this story paints?
The sacrifice of One offers life to all. God did not take pleasure in watching His Son die. It had to have been agonizing for God to stand by as Jesus died covered in the intense darkness of all of our sins. There was no choice...it had to happen. The sacrifice had to be made in order for us to be able to live.
And like those people on the train, we have the choice regarding what we will do with that sacrifice. We can choose to ignore it - to ignore God - not even bothering consider what God did on our behalf. We can choose to look at God briefly - to glance in passing - and then continue on with our own priorities and plans. Or we can acknowledge what it was that God sacrificed to give us life. We can embrace it and accept it on our behalf, and choose to live our lives for God.
Where are you on that train? Can you see the anguish in the Father's eyes as you pass by? Do you know that He offered His greatest sacrifice so that you could live? Will you accept it? Will you choose to give your life to Him because of what He gave for you?
There is a short movie that was made in 2003 called "Most," which means "the bridge" in Czech. It depicts this story so vividly. I'm attaching a link to a brief video that someone made for his church using clips from this movie... http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=13a4a045cd290bc2ae2d&sp=1.
You can also learn more about the full length movie (which is only about 33 minutes) at this site... http://www.mostthemovie.com/.
This story and the video moved me. I hope it moves you as well.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Stepping into the Unknown
One of my favorite Bible verses is Joshua 1:9: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." (NIV). I came across it again this morning during my quiet time. It had been a while since I had given it much thought.
God was getting Joshua ready to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land. Joshua was facing a lot of brand new challenges - leadership (Moses had recently died and Joshua was now "in charge"), entering a brand new land (they had a taste of what it was like from the spies, but going there to start new lives had to have been daunting), to name just two.
I am sure that God's reminder of His presence to Joshua was greatly comforting and greatly motivating to Joshua and the people of Israel.
One of my favorite parts about this verse is that it is a COMMAND. It is not a suggestion. God commands us to be strong and courageous - and then He encourages us by telling us why. HE will be with us wherever we go. That is where our source of strength and courage lie. In God.
David and I are facing some uncertainties right now. We know that God is moving us, but we just don't know where for sure. We have a sense of direction that we are following until God closes the door, but there are enough variables involved that our sense of surity has not yet kicked in. We know that God still wants us in this ministry. The stakes are just too high to walk away from it and fall back on what the world thinks is reasonable and logical.
As we move forward in faith, again believing that God opens the doors no one can shut and shuts the doors no one can open, we can do so with strength and courage. Because God is with us wherever we go. But as Joshua knew he was going where God was directing, so David and I know that we will go where God is directing us. And with that knowledge comes the strength and courage to go forward.
Going to India in January can be a very scary thing - especially for me as I have never travelled to such a "foreign" land before. I've been to Canada and Mexico, but I don't classify those countries as "foreign" like I do India. Fear of stepping into the unknown could be enough to stop me from going. But when this opportunity presented itself, I knew that I had to step out of my own comfort zone and experience - even if for a short time - what it means to be a missionary in a foreign land. I know it won't be glamourous, comfortable or even easy. Serving God rarely is. But if God is able to use us to impact even one life over there, it will be worth it. Not only that, it is my prayer that He also impacts my own life - that He strengthens my own "missionary" heart in a way that is completely unimaginable.
So, whether facing the unknowns here in the US as God leads us, or facing the unknowns in India, I can have strength and courage because I know that God is leading the way. Honestly, as a Christ-follower, I have no choice but to be strong and courageous. It is what God has commanded! And I really like that.
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Journal Archive - March 23, 2005 - John 15:17-16:4
Jesus was very repetitive in the things He was saying to the disciples. John wrote many examples of this in this passage: "Ask whatever you will in My name," "Obeying His commands is equal to loving God" and "If Jesus had not come and spoken to the Jews, they would not be guilty of sin."
My guess as to why Jesus was repeating Himself so much is that the disciples were at a very teachable moment, and Jesus wanted to make sure that they caught and understood everything He was trying to teach them. They were about to go through a very dramatic event, and these were things they were going to need to remember as they went on after Christ's death and resurrection.
Lord, I want to be teachable. I want to be in a position where I can hear your voice speaking to me, repeating to me the things you desire me to grasp and understand. Help me, Lord, to hear your voice, to recognize your Word and to hold it in my heart.
God was getting Joshua ready to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land. Joshua was facing a lot of brand new challenges - leadership (Moses had recently died and Joshua was now "in charge"), entering a brand new land (they had a taste of what it was like from the spies, but going there to start new lives had to have been daunting), to name just two.
I am sure that God's reminder of His presence to Joshua was greatly comforting and greatly motivating to Joshua and the people of Israel.
One of my favorite parts about this verse is that it is a COMMAND. It is not a suggestion. God commands us to be strong and courageous - and then He encourages us by telling us why. HE will be with us wherever we go. That is where our source of strength and courage lie. In God.
David and I are facing some uncertainties right now. We know that God is moving us, but we just don't know where for sure. We have a sense of direction that we are following until God closes the door, but there are enough variables involved that our sense of surity has not yet kicked in. We know that God still wants us in this ministry. The stakes are just too high to walk away from it and fall back on what the world thinks is reasonable and logical.
As we move forward in faith, again believing that God opens the doors no one can shut and shuts the doors no one can open, we can do so with strength and courage. Because God is with us wherever we go. But as Joshua knew he was going where God was directing, so David and I know that we will go where God is directing us. And with that knowledge comes the strength and courage to go forward.
Going to India in January can be a very scary thing - especially for me as I have never travelled to such a "foreign" land before. I've been to Canada and Mexico, but I don't classify those countries as "foreign" like I do India. Fear of stepping into the unknown could be enough to stop me from going. But when this opportunity presented itself, I knew that I had to step out of my own comfort zone and experience - even if for a short time - what it means to be a missionary in a foreign land. I know it won't be glamourous, comfortable or even easy. Serving God rarely is. But if God is able to use us to impact even one life over there, it will be worth it. Not only that, it is my prayer that He also impacts my own life - that He strengthens my own "missionary" heart in a way that is completely unimaginable.
So, whether facing the unknowns here in the US as God leads us, or facing the unknowns in India, I can have strength and courage because I know that God is leading the way. Honestly, as a Christ-follower, I have no choice but to be strong and courageous. It is what God has commanded! And I really like that.
---------------------------------------------
Journal Archive - March 23, 2005 - John 15:17-16:4
Jesus was very repetitive in the things He was saying to the disciples. John wrote many examples of this in this passage: "Ask whatever you will in My name," "Obeying His commands is equal to loving God" and "If Jesus had not come and spoken to the Jews, they would not be guilty of sin."
My guess as to why Jesus was repeating Himself so much is that the disciples were at a very teachable moment, and Jesus wanted to make sure that they caught and understood everything He was trying to teach them. They were about to go through a very dramatic event, and these were things they were going to need to remember as they went on after Christ's death and resurrection.
Lord, I want to be teachable. I want to be in a position where I can hear your voice speaking to me, repeating to me the things you desire me to grasp and understand. Help me, Lord, to hear your voice, to recognize your Word and to hold it in my heart.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
How Quickly We Forget
I'm sure we don't mean to, but sometimes it seems like it is so easy to take our eyes off of God and begin to focus on what is happening around us.
I've recently been reading a little bit about the children of Israel when Moses led them out of Egypt and into the desert in (beginning in Exodus 14). They left Egypt knowing that God had miraculously changed Pharoah's heart, but the moment they saw the Egyptians chasing after them, they forgot what God had just done and cried out in panic. After their miraculous crossing of the Red Sea on dry ground (and seeing the Egyptian army destroyed when the waters came crashing back down on them), they grew thirsty and hungry. Forgetting the power and might that God had just demonstrated at the Red Sea, they again began to grumble and complain. So God miraculously provided water, mannah and quail. It didn't take long before they were whining about something else.
Sometimes when I read this passage in the Bible, I really just shake my head and think, "What was wrong with those people? Couldn't they even trust God for a few days...especially after seeing the miracles He performed on a regular basis in their presence?"
Then this morning, I was in Leviticus 19 reading through the list of commands that God had given the people - both for day-to-day living and for spiritual living. I began to notice that often God says, "I am the LORD your God" or "I am LORD" and I began to wonder why God was repeating himself so often with these words. Then, I realized that it was most likely because the Israelites so easily and quickly forgot who God was.
Sometimes I like to imagine what it could have been like way back then to see the presence of God so clearly - the Israelites had the pillar of fire and the cloud that traveled with them showing them where to go. (Sometimes I wish God was that clear in directing my steps!) It's easy to imagine that we surely would have been able to stay connected and focused on God if we lived back then. But I wonder if that truly is the case.
The same God who led the Israelites back then IS the same God we follow and worship today. As Christians, we don't have to look to a pillar of fire or cloud to be reminded of God's presence. In this day and age, we have the presence of the Holy Spirit dwelling within us. We have something so much better than the Israelites had.
So then why do we still struggle to follow God as we should? Because we are still human -- we are still plagued with the sin nature we were born with. As believers, we have the power of the Holy Spirit within us to overcome sin, but we are still a work in progress...our selfish, human side still can demand its own way over the better way God planned for us. The Holy Spirit in us makes it easier to hear God's voice, to recognize his hand on our lives, but until we get to heaven and this fleshly body is replaced by a glorified one, the struggle will remain.
So, it is a constant reminder that he is the LORD our God...he is the LORD. In everything we do, he is the LORD. Whether it is fixing breakfast and shuttling kids off to school, or going to work and dealing with difficult co-workers, he is the LORD. Whether we are dealing with stress or it seems like the pieces of the puzzle are falling together wonderfully, he is the LORD. Whether we are feeling like we are on a spiritual high or struggling to see God in the situation, he is the LORD. In every circumstance of our lives, he is the LORD. Let's not forget. We can't forget. We must remember that he is the LORD our God...the one who provides, protects, restores and renews.
He is the same God who provided the Israelites with mannah. He will also provide for us.
I've recently been reading a little bit about the children of Israel when Moses led them out of Egypt and into the desert in (beginning in Exodus 14). They left Egypt knowing that God had miraculously changed Pharoah's heart, but the moment they saw the Egyptians chasing after them, they forgot what God had just done and cried out in panic. After their miraculous crossing of the Red Sea on dry ground (and seeing the Egyptian army destroyed when the waters came crashing back down on them), they grew thirsty and hungry. Forgetting the power and might that God had just demonstrated at the Red Sea, they again began to grumble and complain. So God miraculously provided water, mannah and quail. It didn't take long before they were whining about something else.
Sometimes when I read this passage in the Bible, I really just shake my head and think, "What was wrong with those people? Couldn't they even trust God for a few days...especially after seeing the miracles He performed on a regular basis in their presence?"
Then this morning, I was in Leviticus 19 reading through the list of commands that God had given the people - both for day-to-day living and for spiritual living. I began to notice that often God says, "I am the LORD your God" or "I am LORD" and I began to wonder why God was repeating himself so often with these words. Then, I realized that it was most likely because the Israelites so easily and quickly forgot who God was.
Sometimes I like to imagine what it could have been like way back then to see the presence of God so clearly - the Israelites had the pillar of fire and the cloud that traveled with them showing them where to go. (Sometimes I wish God was that clear in directing my steps!) It's easy to imagine that we surely would have been able to stay connected and focused on God if we lived back then. But I wonder if that truly is the case.
The same God who led the Israelites back then IS the same God we follow and worship today. As Christians, we don't have to look to a pillar of fire or cloud to be reminded of God's presence. In this day and age, we have the presence of the Holy Spirit dwelling within us. We have something so much better than the Israelites had.
So then why do we still struggle to follow God as we should? Because we are still human -- we are still plagued with the sin nature we were born with. As believers, we have the power of the Holy Spirit within us to overcome sin, but we are still a work in progress...our selfish, human side still can demand its own way over the better way God planned for us. The Holy Spirit in us makes it easier to hear God's voice, to recognize his hand on our lives, but until we get to heaven and this fleshly body is replaced by a glorified one, the struggle will remain.
So, it is a constant reminder that he is the LORD our God...he is the LORD. In everything we do, he is the LORD. Whether it is fixing breakfast and shuttling kids off to school, or going to work and dealing with difficult co-workers, he is the LORD. Whether we are dealing with stress or it seems like the pieces of the puzzle are falling together wonderfully, he is the LORD. Whether we are feeling like we are on a spiritual high or struggling to see God in the situation, he is the LORD. In every circumstance of our lives, he is the LORD. Let's not forget. We can't forget. We must remember that he is the LORD our God...the one who provides, protects, restores and renews.
He is the same God who provided the Israelites with mannah. He will also provide for us.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Less Than Ten
A couple of days ago, I wrote about Noah and how he was able to stand alone for God when the rest of the world (literally) was going against God. This morning I read about Lot and his experience with the angels and the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. The contrast between Noah and his fear of God and Lot and his fear of men is striking.
Where Noah was alone in his faith in God, Lot had his Uncle Abraham praying for him. In Genesis 18, we read where Abraham bargained with God to save Lot and his family, asking that God spare the city if only ten "innocent" people could be found in Sodom. Of course, there weren't ten innocent people in Sodom. There was only Lot, his wife and his two daughters - and just how "innocent" were they? Lot had gained a significant position of authority within the city. We know this because he was there sitting at the entrance of the city, a place of honor, when the angels arrived (see Genesis 19). He knew the kind of people who lived in that city...he was aware of the many forms of perversion that took place there. He also knew enough about God to be able to recognize God's angels when they arrived. But he didn't know God well enough to trust that God's power could protect the angels. Instead he was willing to risk the lives of his own two virgin daughters - who were engaged to marry men who also happened to be outside of the house wanting to get at the angels. And just where was Lot's wife? She was probably just wishing that the angels would go away and not disrupt the lifestyle of privilege they were enjoying living in that city.
Abraham bargained to God for ten innocent people...they just weren't there, so God destroyed Sodom, Gomorrah and most of the surrounding valley. Lot and his daughters were the only ones to survive (and just narrowly at that). Mrs. Lot turned back (against the instructions of the angel) to take one last look at all she was leaving behind. And she paid the consequence for hanging on to the past.
When God works in our lives, when he asks something of us that just seems impossible, we can respond in several ways:
1) Like Noah, we can simply trust and obey. Even in the face of massive opposition, we can know that standing FOR God will never be a futile effort.
2) Like Lot, we can obey - kicking and screaming. The angels had to grab Lot and his family physically by their hands in order to get them out of the city. They did not want to go. Even with the angels of God standing immediately in their midst, they still were reluctant to follow. But at least they did, although they were not willing to go to the place in the mountain that God had directed them to. Instead, they chose to stay in the valley -- protected, but still far short of where God wanted them to be.
3) Like Lot's wife, we can hold on to the past and pay the consequences. Sometimes letting go is the hardest thing to do...especially if we don't see the harm in holding on to the past. Mrs. Lot, I'm sure, was very happy and comfortable where she was at. She also didn't want to go. She was not able to recognize the corruption around her in order to be able to acknowledge the riches that God had waiting for her on the mountain. She looked back. She not only lost all that she had, she lost all that could have been hers. She lost her own life.
So what do you do when you know that God is leading you outside of your comfort zone, into the unknown, or to do something that you never imagined you could do? Do you respond like Noah, who built an ark in preparation for a downpour from the sky that had never happed before? Do you respond like Lot, trying to rationalize, find alternative solutions and finally resolve to obey, but reluctantly and half-heartedly? Or do you respond like Lot's wife, not willing to let go and look ahead, not willing to take your eyes off of what you could loose in order to see what you would gain?
The same God who led Noah to build the ark and covered the earth with the flood is the same God who poured destruction upon Sodom and Gomorrah. This is the same God who guides and directs us today. This is the very same God who sent his Son to pay the penalty for our sin that no one else could pay. This is the same God who knows and loves each of us individually and intimately.
How will you respond to God's next request of you?
---------------
Journal Archive, March 2, 2005
John 11:17-37
I'm finding it interesting that, even in the midst of great grief over the loss of her brother, and disappointment that Jesus did not arrive sooner to save their brother from dying, Martha was able to give one of the most concise statements of faith anywhere in the Bible - "I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who has come into the world from God." We aren't told what Jesus' response to her was, but she must have realized at that point that Mary wasn't with her, and she ran back to get her.
The faith exhibited by Mary and Martha is something I would like to think I have in my own life. To be able to call out to Jesus in time of need, to wonder but not doubt when his timing is not what I think it should be, to express the deep faith that Martha expressed when it would be so easy to focus on myself.
Father God, I ask that you would help me to have the heart of Martha in the midst of difficult times. While it is easy to say, "Yes, Lord," when life is going smoothly, I want to know that when the troubled times hit, my faith in you will remain strong and unwavering. Thank you, Father God, for your deep love and compassion for us - for me. I know that you can see into my heart and love me because of what is there and in spite of what is there. Lord, I would ask that you continue to create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me.
Where Noah was alone in his faith in God, Lot had his Uncle Abraham praying for him. In Genesis 18, we read where Abraham bargained with God to save Lot and his family, asking that God spare the city if only ten "innocent" people could be found in Sodom. Of course, there weren't ten innocent people in Sodom. There was only Lot, his wife and his two daughters - and just how "innocent" were they? Lot had gained a significant position of authority within the city. We know this because he was there sitting at the entrance of the city, a place of honor, when the angels arrived (see Genesis 19). He knew the kind of people who lived in that city...he was aware of the many forms of perversion that took place there. He also knew enough about God to be able to recognize God's angels when they arrived. But he didn't know God well enough to trust that God's power could protect the angels. Instead he was willing to risk the lives of his own two virgin daughters - who were engaged to marry men who also happened to be outside of the house wanting to get at the angels. And just where was Lot's wife? She was probably just wishing that the angels would go away and not disrupt the lifestyle of privilege they were enjoying living in that city.
Abraham bargained to God for ten innocent people...they just weren't there, so God destroyed Sodom, Gomorrah and most of the surrounding valley. Lot and his daughters were the only ones to survive (and just narrowly at that). Mrs. Lot turned back (against the instructions of the angel) to take one last look at all she was leaving behind. And she paid the consequence for hanging on to the past.
When God works in our lives, when he asks something of us that just seems impossible, we can respond in several ways:
1) Like Noah, we can simply trust and obey. Even in the face of massive opposition, we can know that standing FOR God will never be a futile effort.
2) Like Lot, we can obey - kicking and screaming. The angels had to grab Lot and his family physically by their hands in order to get them out of the city. They did not want to go. Even with the angels of God standing immediately in their midst, they still were reluctant to follow. But at least they did, although they were not willing to go to the place in the mountain that God had directed them to. Instead, they chose to stay in the valley -- protected, but still far short of where God wanted them to be.
3) Like Lot's wife, we can hold on to the past and pay the consequences. Sometimes letting go is the hardest thing to do...especially if we don't see the harm in holding on to the past. Mrs. Lot, I'm sure, was very happy and comfortable where she was at. She also didn't want to go. She was not able to recognize the corruption around her in order to be able to acknowledge the riches that God had waiting for her on the mountain. She looked back. She not only lost all that she had, she lost all that could have been hers. She lost her own life.
So what do you do when you know that God is leading you outside of your comfort zone, into the unknown, or to do something that you never imagined you could do? Do you respond like Noah, who built an ark in preparation for a downpour from the sky that had never happed before? Do you respond like Lot, trying to rationalize, find alternative solutions and finally resolve to obey, but reluctantly and half-heartedly? Or do you respond like Lot's wife, not willing to let go and look ahead, not willing to take your eyes off of what you could loose in order to see what you would gain?
The same God who led Noah to build the ark and covered the earth with the flood is the same God who poured destruction upon Sodom and Gomorrah. This is the same God who guides and directs us today. This is the very same God who sent his Son to pay the penalty for our sin that no one else could pay. This is the same God who knows and loves each of us individually and intimately.
How will you respond to God's next request of you?
---------------
Journal Archive, March 2, 2005
John 11:17-37
I'm finding it interesting that, even in the midst of great grief over the loss of her brother, and disappointment that Jesus did not arrive sooner to save their brother from dying, Martha was able to give one of the most concise statements of faith anywhere in the Bible - "I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who has come into the world from God." We aren't told what Jesus' response to her was, but she must have realized at that point that Mary wasn't with her, and she ran back to get her.
The faith exhibited by Mary and Martha is something I would like to think I have in my own life. To be able to call out to Jesus in time of need, to wonder but not doubt when his timing is not what I think it should be, to express the deep faith that Martha expressed when it would be so easy to focus on myself.
Father God, I ask that you would help me to have the heart of Martha in the midst of difficult times. While it is easy to say, "Yes, Lord," when life is going smoothly, I want to know that when the troubled times hit, my faith in you will remain strong and unwavering. Thank you, Father God, for your deep love and compassion for us - for me. I know that you can see into my heart and love me because of what is there and in spite of what is there. Lord, I would ask that you continue to create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Talk About Being Being the Only One Taking a Stand...
Poor Noah. Here was a guy who knew what was right while the world around him was in sinful chaos. The Bible says in Genesis 6:9 that Noah was a righteous man, the only blameless person living on earth at the time, and he walked in close fellowship with God.
...And you think YOU feel alone in your faith sometimes!!
I often wonder how it was that Noah was able to stay close to God while the rest of the world fell into corruption. Who influenced him in his faith in God? There was no written Scripture back then (Moses had not yet written the first five books of the Bible), so what was it...who was it...that influenced Noah to the point of having such a strong faith while the rest of the world became so wicked that God had to destroy all living creatures? And the Bible doesn't state that his family was righteous like he was. It says that Noah was "the only blameless person living on the earth at the time."
Then God asks Noah to do something so totally out of the blue - something people had no way of understanding or relating to. You need to understand that rain had never fallen from the sky before this time. The people thought Noah was absolutely nuts. But he stood firm in his faith and was obedient to what God was telling him to do.
I have to ask myself how firm would I stand in my faith if I felt like I was the only one who believed in God? What if God asked me to do something that the rest of the world mocked and ridiculed?
We will never have to face a situation that was as extreme as Noah's (God promised -- remember the rainbow?), but I believe with all my heart that, as Christians (those of us who profess a faith in Jesus Christ and have placed our trust in his redeeming sacrifice), we are going to face more and more circumstances in the future where we may feel that we are alone...we are the only one standing for Truth. Just look around at what is going on in the world today - even in just the United States alone. Christianity is under attack. It is very subtle in many ways right now, but it is there and it is gaining momentum.
How well will you be able to do what God has asked you to do when it seems like everyone around you is against you? I wish I could answer that for myself. I would like to think that I would stand strong FOR God, that my resolve would not crumble under pressure.
Noah must have had a very strong foundation of faith under his feet, and his focus must have been soley upon God and not the mocking people around him. We need to be building that strong of a foundation of faith for ourselves. We have so many more advantages than Noah did. We aren't going to be alone...there will be others who are able to take the stand for Jesus. We have God's Word to read, to study, to memorize and internalize in order to help build that foundation. Plus we have the Holy Spirit living inside us to give us strength to stand when the time comes. The tools are there for that strong foundation -- we just have to take advantage of them.
The Bible says in Matthew 24:37-39: When the Son of Man returns, it will be like it was in Noah's day. In those days before the flood, the people were enjoying banquets and parties and weddings right up to the time Noah entered his boat. People didn't realize what was going to happen until the flood came and swept them all away. That is the way it will be when the Son of Man comes.
Is your focus on God or on the circumstances around you? If your focus is on God, you will be able to stand for him when the time comes.
------------------------------
Archive Journal Entry... March 1, 2005
Sometimes when I think about the disciples and the things they said and did when they were with Jesus, I can't help but think about how silly and foolish they sometimes were. But then I think about how I could have possibly reacted being around someone who was so totally different and special. I'm pretty sure that I would come off sounding and acting rather foolish myself.
The disciples had such a unique experience, never again to be experienced by another human being. What joy they must have had to hear Jesus speak, to see the miracles he performed, to be a part of his ministry as he walked on earth.
I can't fault them for their moments of doubt - I have them. I can't fault them for their moments of weakness - I know I certainly have them. It is because of their example that I know God is willing to stick with me, is patient with me and continues to love, guide, support and encourage me, even when I stumble and fall.
Thank you, Father God, for the reminder this morning of your love and faithfulness to me. I am unworthy, but I am so very thankful that by the blood of Jesus Christ I have the authority to come to your throne. You alone are worthy of all praise.
...And you think YOU feel alone in your faith sometimes!!
I often wonder how it was that Noah was able to stay close to God while the rest of the world fell into corruption. Who influenced him in his faith in God? There was no written Scripture back then (Moses had not yet written the first five books of the Bible), so what was it...who was it...that influenced Noah to the point of having such a strong faith while the rest of the world became so wicked that God had to destroy all living creatures? And the Bible doesn't state that his family was righteous like he was. It says that Noah was "the only blameless person living on the earth at the time."
Then God asks Noah to do something so totally out of the blue - something people had no way of understanding or relating to. You need to understand that rain had never fallen from the sky before this time. The people thought Noah was absolutely nuts. But he stood firm in his faith and was obedient to what God was telling him to do.
I have to ask myself how firm would I stand in my faith if I felt like I was the only one who believed in God? What if God asked me to do something that the rest of the world mocked and ridiculed?
We will never have to face a situation that was as extreme as Noah's (God promised -- remember the rainbow?), but I believe with all my heart that, as Christians (those of us who profess a faith in Jesus Christ and have placed our trust in his redeeming sacrifice), we are going to face more and more circumstances in the future where we may feel that we are alone...we are the only one standing for Truth. Just look around at what is going on in the world today - even in just the United States alone. Christianity is under attack. It is very subtle in many ways right now, but it is there and it is gaining momentum.
How well will you be able to do what God has asked you to do when it seems like everyone around you is against you? I wish I could answer that for myself. I would like to think that I would stand strong FOR God, that my resolve would not crumble under pressure.
Noah must have had a very strong foundation of faith under his feet, and his focus must have been soley upon God and not the mocking people around him. We need to be building that strong of a foundation of faith for ourselves. We have so many more advantages than Noah did. We aren't going to be alone...there will be others who are able to take the stand for Jesus. We have God's Word to read, to study, to memorize and internalize in order to help build that foundation. Plus we have the Holy Spirit living inside us to give us strength to stand when the time comes. The tools are there for that strong foundation -- we just have to take advantage of them.
The Bible says in Matthew 24:37-39: When the Son of Man returns, it will be like it was in Noah's day. In those days before the flood, the people were enjoying banquets and parties and weddings right up to the time Noah entered his boat. People didn't realize what was going to happen until the flood came and swept them all away. That is the way it will be when the Son of Man comes.
Is your focus on God or on the circumstances around you? If your focus is on God, you will be able to stand for him when the time comes.
------------------------------
Archive Journal Entry... March 1, 2005
Sometimes when I think about the disciples and the things they said and did when they were with Jesus, I can't help but think about how silly and foolish they sometimes were. But then I think about how I could have possibly reacted being around someone who was so totally different and special. I'm pretty sure that I would come off sounding and acting rather foolish myself.
The disciples had such a unique experience, never again to be experienced by another human being. What joy they must have had to hear Jesus speak, to see the miracles he performed, to be a part of his ministry as he walked on earth.
I can't fault them for their moments of doubt - I have them. I can't fault them for their moments of weakness - I know I certainly have them. It is because of their example that I know God is willing to stick with me, is patient with me and continues to love, guide, support and encourage me, even when I stumble and fall.
Thank you, Father God, for the reminder this morning of your love and faithfulness to me. I am unworthy, but I am so very thankful that by the blood of Jesus Christ I have the authority to come to your throne. You alone are worthy of all praise.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Having It All
Have you ever wondered to yourself (or even spoken out loud), if I ONLY had this or that, I could be happy (content, satisfied, whatever)? To obtain the nicest, biggest, fanciest, tastiest, shiniest "thing" would just make it all worthwhile.
I once heard about a woman who had EVERYTHING she needed...literally. She had an incredible husband (very attentive, handsome and strong), she had all the food and possessions in the world she could want, and she didn't worry for a moment about having something appropriate to wear to the next special event. Why, she even thought she had a good relationship with God...one that would sustain her through the tough times (even though she really had not yet experienced "tough times").
But then one day someone pointed out something to her that she didn't have, and it planted the suggestion in her mind that her life was lacking because she didn't have this one thing. And it drove her nuts. She lost focus on all that was hers around her - the abundance of all that was hers. She lost focus on her relationship with God. Her only focus became this one thing she couldn't have. And she did what she needed to do to have this one thing. She obtained it, and it destroyed EVERYTHING! She lost all that she had that gave her security, peace and comfort.
Do you recognize who this woman was? You can read about her in the first few chapters of Genesis.
During my quiet time this morning, I read in Genesis 3 how the serpent came and tempted Eve and she ate of the fruit that God had forbidden her to eat. I began thinking about all that this woman had prior to eating the fruit. She had everything she needed - and wanted - in abundance. (Can you just imagine tasting the produce grown in that garden? How sweet and flavorful it must have been!) She was content until the serpent pointed out this one lone tree in the middle of the garden - the only tree in the entire garden that God had put a restriction on.
I wonder why it was so easy for Eve to have been distracted from all that she had to focus on the one thing she didn't have. Are we really all that different? How easily do we lose focus of what we have (what God has given us) and desire the things that we don't.
Adam and Eve had a unique relationship with God prior to the whole "fruit incident." God "walked" with them, they fellowshiped together in sweet communion. And all of that was lost (not only for them, but for the rest of humanity) because they lusted after something that was not for them to begin with.
I wonder where I am in my own walk with God. While I know that I am saved by God's grace and will one day live with him in heaven, I still struggle with overcoming my sin nature, and I will still do things that get in the way of obtaining that same sweet fellowship that Adam and Eve had with God. I know that it is so easy to be distracted by what the world says is necessary for happiness and contentment in life. So often my focus is lured away from God.
But my heart still hungers after him, and I find the more that I seek after him, the more he satisfies.
David and I are downsizing...we are getting rid of a lot of "stuff" - things that can tie us down, get in our way or distract us from our purpose. I used to desire "things" for my home - to decorate it accordng to the current trend, to have family heirlooms and trinkets sitting all around. While those things are nice, I don't desire them any longer.
My heart's desire is to be free to serve God with all that I am and all that he has given me. I feel God leading us to become more "mobile" - to be in a position of being able to quickly go where he wants us to go. I've had people ask if that means we are going to move into an RV and travel the country! LOL!! Actually, that sounds like fun - and, who knows, that might be exactly what God is leading us to.
So, as I process through letting go the things of this world - things that won't matter in eternity to come - I find my heart less distracted and becoming more focused on God's direction and desire for us. I know there will be times when I will get distracted again...it will happen far too often, I'm afraid. But because I can see the work God is already doing in my life now, I have confidence that he will continue that work until he calls me home!
--------------------------
I started going through some of my older journals the other day, and I decided I'd start copying them into my blog here. So here is the first one...
This was written on May 5, 2004, during my "date with God" where I spent some time alone with him at Saylorville Lake:
Father, here I sit by Saylorville Lake wanting to meet iwth you and connect with you. I pray right now, dear God, that you would create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. I want my heart - the deepest recesses - to be opened before you so that I can come before you completely honest, completely humbled, completely vulnerable.
Father, I have sinned against you and I continue to be weak. I know what I am doing is sin. I know that it grieves your Spirit so when I blatantly ignore his promptings. My greatrest sin is seeking my own will over yours, placing my own selfish desires over your selfless ones for me.
How can I expect to be used of you for your perfect purpose when I am so far from where you would want me to be? Father God, I still believe it is my heart's desire to serve you with my entire being - with my body, mind and soul. God, you have given me so much, so much I have taken for granted. I am blessed, so blessed by you - you have given me everything I need. Forgive me, Lord, when I am ungrateful. Forgive me when I seek my own way. Fill me, Lord, with your Spirit so deeply that all I connect with is you.
Help me to identify and clear out all those things that would quench the Spirit from total effectiveness in my life. Help me to seek you first in all things - emotional, mental, physical and spiritual.
Psalm 92:4 says, "You thrill me, Lord, with all you have done for me. I sing for joy because of what you have done."
How great are you, Lord, that even in the midst of my sorrow over my sin, you reach down and touch me. You reach down and speak to my heart. You don't turn your back on me. You don't cast me away from you. Even when I stand before you with the shame of my guilt, you remind me of your love for me. You restore my soul to wholeness.
God, I am so unworthy of this precious gift, and yet I am so overwhelmed with gratitude. How I praise you, God, for loving me, for forgiving me and for restoring me to yourself. I am the softened clay in the Potter's hand to be remade again and again, lovingly gently, carefully. You are perfect, Lord, in your creation. The flaws that appear in me are of my own making, but you are gracious in restoring those flaws back to perfection through Jesus Christ. Thank you, Father.
I once heard about a woman who had EVERYTHING she needed...literally. She had an incredible husband (very attentive, handsome and strong), she had all the food and possessions in the world she could want, and she didn't worry for a moment about having something appropriate to wear to the next special event. Why, she even thought she had a good relationship with God...one that would sustain her through the tough times (even though she really had not yet experienced "tough times").
But then one day someone pointed out something to her that she didn't have, and it planted the suggestion in her mind that her life was lacking because she didn't have this one thing. And it drove her nuts. She lost focus on all that was hers around her - the abundance of all that was hers. She lost focus on her relationship with God. Her only focus became this one thing she couldn't have. And she did what she needed to do to have this one thing. She obtained it, and it destroyed EVERYTHING! She lost all that she had that gave her security, peace and comfort.
Do you recognize who this woman was? You can read about her in the first few chapters of Genesis.
During my quiet time this morning, I read in Genesis 3 how the serpent came and tempted Eve and she ate of the fruit that God had forbidden her to eat. I began thinking about all that this woman had prior to eating the fruit. She had everything she needed - and wanted - in abundance. (Can you just imagine tasting the produce grown in that garden? How sweet and flavorful it must have been!) She was content until the serpent pointed out this one lone tree in the middle of the garden - the only tree in the entire garden that God had put a restriction on.
I wonder why it was so easy for Eve to have been distracted from all that she had to focus on the one thing she didn't have. Are we really all that different? How easily do we lose focus of what we have (what God has given us) and desire the things that we don't.
Adam and Eve had a unique relationship with God prior to the whole "fruit incident." God "walked" with them, they fellowshiped together in sweet communion. And all of that was lost (not only for them, but for the rest of humanity) because they lusted after something that was not for them to begin with.
I wonder where I am in my own walk with God. While I know that I am saved by God's grace and will one day live with him in heaven, I still struggle with overcoming my sin nature, and I will still do things that get in the way of obtaining that same sweet fellowship that Adam and Eve had with God. I know that it is so easy to be distracted by what the world says is necessary for happiness and contentment in life. So often my focus is lured away from God.
But my heart still hungers after him, and I find the more that I seek after him, the more he satisfies.
David and I are downsizing...we are getting rid of a lot of "stuff" - things that can tie us down, get in our way or distract us from our purpose. I used to desire "things" for my home - to decorate it accordng to the current trend, to have family heirlooms and trinkets sitting all around. While those things are nice, I don't desire them any longer.
My heart's desire is to be free to serve God with all that I am and all that he has given me. I feel God leading us to become more "mobile" - to be in a position of being able to quickly go where he wants us to go. I've had people ask if that means we are going to move into an RV and travel the country! LOL!! Actually, that sounds like fun - and, who knows, that might be exactly what God is leading us to.
So, as I process through letting go the things of this world - things that won't matter in eternity to come - I find my heart less distracted and becoming more focused on God's direction and desire for us. I know there will be times when I will get distracted again...it will happen far too often, I'm afraid. But because I can see the work God is already doing in my life now, I have confidence that he will continue that work until he calls me home!
--------------------------
I started going through some of my older journals the other day, and I decided I'd start copying them into my blog here. So here is the first one...
This was written on May 5, 2004, during my "date with God" where I spent some time alone with him at Saylorville Lake:
Father, here I sit by Saylorville Lake wanting to meet iwth you and connect with you. I pray right now, dear God, that you would create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. I want my heart - the deepest recesses - to be opened before you so that I can come before you completely honest, completely humbled, completely vulnerable.
Father, I have sinned against you and I continue to be weak. I know what I am doing is sin. I know that it grieves your Spirit so when I blatantly ignore his promptings. My greatrest sin is seeking my own will over yours, placing my own selfish desires over your selfless ones for me.
How can I expect to be used of you for your perfect purpose when I am so far from where you would want me to be? Father God, I still believe it is my heart's desire to serve you with my entire being - with my body, mind and soul. God, you have given me so much, so much I have taken for granted. I am blessed, so blessed by you - you have given me everything I need. Forgive me, Lord, when I am ungrateful. Forgive me when I seek my own way. Fill me, Lord, with your Spirit so deeply that all I connect with is you.
Help me to identify and clear out all those things that would quench the Spirit from total effectiveness in my life. Help me to seek you first in all things - emotional, mental, physical and spiritual.
Psalm 92:4 says, "You thrill me, Lord, with all you have done for me. I sing for joy because of what you have done."
How great are you, Lord, that even in the midst of my sorrow over my sin, you reach down and touch me. You reach down and speak to my heart. You don't turn your back on me. You don't cast me away from you. Even when I stand before you with the shame of my guilt, you remind me of your love for me. You restore my soul to wholeness.
God, I am so unworthy of this precious gift, and yet I am so overwhelmed with gratitude. How I praise you, God, for loving me, for forgiving me and for restoring me to yourself. I am the softened clay in the Potter's hand to be remade again and again, lovingly gently, carefully. You are perfect, Lord, in your creation. The flaws that appear in me are of my own making, but you are gracious in restoring those flaws back to perfection through Jesus Christ. Thank you, Father.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Getting Started...
I tend to find that just getting started is the hardest part. Anticipation and planning can go like clockwork, but it's taking that first step to actually start is the hardest. And I've found in my own life that usually that first step - the one that causes all the anxiety and trepidation - really does not live up to the expecation created by my own thoughts and imaginings.
So, here I am, starting my very own first blog. Hey, Gayle, welcome to the 21st century! Haha. So far, so good - probably because no one but me knows this is here. But I think the point of writing a blog is so that others can read it, get to know me, get to know my heart, and maybe, just maybe, be pointed towards a loving God and precious Savior as a result of what I share.
I've journaled for several years. I started shortly after I moved to Iowa, following my separation from my ex-husband. It was very helpful to me to be able to write down my thoughts, my prayers, my hopes and my fears. As I read back over some of those journal entries, I am amazed by the path that God led me on. So much of what I was going through back then makes more sense to me now. My hope is that someday, I'll be able to edit all of those entries into a book that will help other women go through the process of healing from brokenness to being "remade by the Potter's hand."
It was the passage in Jeremiah about the Potter and the clay that brought about my greatest healing. It was the image of being recreated - the past no longer being held against me - that really showed me what God's grace is all about. I am a new creation, once again made in the image of God. I have worth, I have value, and I have a purpose in God's kingdom. And my worth, value and purpose all point towards Jesus Christ, my Savior and Lord. As I strive to live my life in a way that brings Him honor and glory, I can only pray that He will use me to point others towards Him.
This morning, this song by Kathy Troccoli is going through my mind...
Life can be so good
Life can be so hard
Never knowing what each day
Will bring to where you are
Sometimes I forget
And sometimes I can't see
That whatever comes my way
You'll be with me
My life is in your hands
My heart is in your keeping
I'm never without love
Not when my future is with you
My life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands
Nothing is for sure
Nothing is for keeps
All I know is that your love
Will live eternally
So I will find my way, yes
And I will find my peace
Knowing that you'll meet my every need
My life is in your hands
My heart is in your keeping
I'm never without love
Not when my future is with you
My life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands
When I'm at my weakest love
You carry me
Then I become my strongest love
In your handsMy life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands
I trust you LordMy life is in your hands
David and I are expecting the unexpected to happen over the next several weeks and months. We are seeing God moving us to a new level...and we're not exactly sure where He is leading us yet. But we are excited to know that it is God who it leading. So we continue to pray for direction, peace and assurance as we take each step forward in faith. As it has been so interesting to go back and reread my journal entries from years ago, I look forward to going back and rereading my blog entries as time goes by to see where God has taken me.
Above all else, to His name be all the glory, now and forever more!
So, here I am, starting my very own first blog. Hey, Gayle, welcome to the 21st century! Haha. So far, so good - probably because no one but me knows this is here. But I think the point of writing a blog is so that others can read it, get to know me, get to know my heart, and maybe, just maybe, be pointed towards a loving God and precious Savior as a result of what I share.
I've journaled for several years. I started shortly after I moved to Iowa, following my separation from my ex-husband. It was very helpful to me to be able to write down my thoughts, my prayers, my hopes and my fears. As I read back over some of those journal entries, I am amazed by the path that God led me on. So much of what I was going through back then makes more sense to me now. My hope is that someday, I'll be able to edit all of those entries into a book that will help other women go through the process of healing from brokenness to being "remade by the Potter's hand."
It was the passage in Jeremiah about the Potter and the clay that brought about my greatest healing. It was the image of being recreated - the past no longer being held against me - that really showed me what God's grace is all about. I am a new creation, once again made in the image of God. I have worth, I have value, and I have a purpose in God's kingdom. And my worth, value and purpose all point towards Jesus Christ, my Savior and Lord. As I strive to live my life in a way that brings Him honor and glory, I can only pray that He will use me to point others towards Him.
This morning, this song by Kathy Troccoli is going through my mind...
Life can be so good
Life can be so hard
Never knowing what each day
Will bring to where you are
Sometimes I forget
And sometimes I can't see
That whatever comes my way
You'll be with me
My life is in your hands
My heart is in your keeping
I'm never without love
Not when my future is with you
My life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands
Nothing is for sure
Nothing is for keeps
All I know is that your love
Will live eternally
So I will find my way, yes
And I will find my peace
Knowing that you'll meet my every need
My life is in your hands
My heart is in your keeping
I'm never without love
Not when my future is with you
My life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands
When I'm at my weakest love
You carry me
Then I become my strongest love
In your handsMy life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands
I trust you LordMy life is in your hands
David and I are expecting the unexpected to happen over the next several weeks and months. We are seeing God moving us to a new level...and we're not exactly sure where He is leading us yet. But we are excited to know that it is God who it leading. So we continue to pray for direction, peace and assurance as we take each step forward in faith. As it has been so interesting to go back and reread my journal entries from years ago, I look forward to going back and rereading my blog entries as time goes by to see where God has taken me.
Above all else, to His name be all the glory, now and forever more!
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